(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

According to Wikipedia, “Malingering is a medical term that refers to fabricating or exaggerating the symptoms of mental or physical disorders for a variety of “secondary gain” motives, which may include financial compensation (often tied to fraud); avoiding school, work or military service; obtaining drugs; getting lighter criminal sentences; or simply to attract attention or sympathy.”

This is a very common and widespread phenomenon, from the much jokingly used “I have a headache”, to a hoax as in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, to the disgusting cancer fakers.

The medical community is full of such tales.

While in medical school, a professor told us this: A man came into the emergency department, complaining of back pain. He walked with a significant limp; his back bent and was in constant pain. Examination and X-ray showed nothing. He was diagnosed as malingering, and sent on his way. To be sure, our good-hearted doctor followed him out of the hospital, and observed. For a few blocks, he was still limping, dragging his leg. Our professor was almost ready to call him back to the hospital, when suddenly, he straightened up his back and marched quickly onward and disappeared into the night.

On another occasion, while interning, an old man was admitted to hospital for investigation, complained of general weakness. To our amazement he used his hospital bed as a hotel room, disappeared in the day time and showed up only at night, came and went as he wished. When he was in, he was constantly on the phone, conducting his business. We were ready to discharge him, but by then, we discovered that he really had a medical problem, a type of slow progressing blood cancer. As soon as we broke the news to him, he was quite indignant and immediately signed himself out of the hospital. When malingering became a real condition, he refused to accept and face the consequences.

And then there were those infamous patients, who were frequent visitors to the emergency departments around town, carrying with them letters from doctors stating that they have certain chronic disease that required pain medications. As soon as they arrived, we usually heard about the warnings throughout the department right away, and be on our guard.

Occasionally we have the professional patient who seemed to know the medical textbooks thoroughly, and can fool any well-knowledge doctor; they proudly displayed their surgical scars to prove their tales, but obviously with no actual findings. They are the un-avoidable Munchhausen’s. It is a disturbing psychological disease. Most of them refused proper psychiatric treatment when confronted.

And then every day in their office, physician faced the many drug addicts, seeking pain-killers and other prescribed drugs. They invented stories and believable clinical histories and symptoms, just to get a prescription to satisfy their habit. Early in my practice, there was this Dutch ophthalmologist, daughter of a patient of mine, who was visiting from Holland. She gave a history of certain cancer that led to a bone fracture of her back while horseback riding. I referred her to a specialist, really concern about the seriousness of her illness. A few weeks later, I received the consultation report; the specialist found no signs or symptoms of any cancer but discovered the lady was addicted to drugs. Contrary to her advice, the father remained my patient for years.

A warning to those cancer fakers, eventually when the real wolf strikes, by then, no matter how loud you cried wolf, nobody will believe you, and you will be left all alone in this world, a pathetic tragedy of your own making.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

G&M — This bizarre case happened a week ago on an Air Canada flight from Hong Kong to Vancouver.

Several hours into the trip, a male passenger went into the bathroom elderly and white – his face wrinkled, eyes scrunched nearly shut, only a few wisps of white hair clinging to his otherwise bald scalp – and emerged a fresh-faced, young Asian.

The man is currently being detained by the Canadian Border Services Agency. He filed a refugee claim as soon as he arrived in Canada, according to the agency’s alert.

It is unclear how the man got through passport control or why he disguised himself to get on the plane.

Why? Here are  Top 10 Reasons Why.

1. That is Tom Cruise’s test run for Mission Impossible 4
2. He forgot to take off his Halloween costume before boarding the plane. He was on his way to the Campbellford Halloween party
3. Canada Custom missed out on all the other young looking guys on the plane. A strange thing happened while crossing all the different time zones.
4. Another time Traveler, just returning from “Back to the Future”/ Chaplin’s Circus
5. It’s Iggy the Superman, caught in the process of changing identity/costume, trying to boost up his poor ratings (see picture below)
6. A once in a lifetime tour from HK. The Trip of the Fountain of Youth. Boarding as an old man and got off the plane  a young guy. A dream for us baby boomers comes true. Thank you fairy godmother!
7. Air Canada, I demand to know what the flight number is. When is the next flight?
8. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
9. 時光倒流 兒時可再 以此與為證印者矣
10. !@#$%&* I can do anything I want. 「我爸是李剛！」

Hey, wait a minute, just read the other article, My Mediterranean Cruise. Here is the actual reason.

11. It’s John Fung, just back from his Mediterranean Cruise. In his own words: “I traversed over 6000 years of history and witnessed the grandeur of four magnificent civilizations: Egyptian, Greek, Roman and Byzantine.”  There, I rest my case.