《正名啟示》 __ Francis Ho (65)

俗語有云:唔怕生壞命,最怕改壞名。
自出世以來,拜叔父所賜,在中文字典中,找到一個「爗」字,如獲至寶,定名「爗樑」,自始麻煩接踵而來。
小孩時學寫名字,筆劃繁多,苦了孩子。到入學時,連老師都不懂這字,結果成為「賀爆樑」,嗚呼哀哉
到政府辦事處申請回港証,那位先生懂得這「爗」字,非常高興地唸起「買柑者言」,以此證實「爗」字的出處。
到了近年,國內文字簡化,要大眾化,誰想到,這簡化實是唔化,「爗」字被劈頭,去日而成燁,這也無傷大雅,最慘者,樑字簡化到連影也不見了,要用姓梁的梁來代替,我這「爗樑」,全無容身之地了。
名不正,則言不順。把心一橫,為了正名,在此立下聲明,從今以後,改名賀B。

[http://www.zdic.net/z/10/kx/3DF8.htm/
(a variant of 燁) blaze of fire, splendid, glorious]

多倫多的權力鬥爭 (第二回)

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

看官, 多城第二回之「你死我活」的「權力鬥爭」, 以快刀砍乱麻之勢, 速戰速决, 不出一天, 就能鳴金收兵, Council大獲全勝。

最先, 由卧底老板史丁斯(Karen Stinz)出手, 提出解散 TTC Commission, 另組一個包括有 7 councillors 和 4 市民的新 Board, 肥佬市長福特(Rob Ford)反攻, 由手下 Thompson 帶領發難, 提出要一個 11 位市民的新 Board。經过 councillors 羣儒激烈舌戰, 最後通过史丁斯的動議。

接着下来,又是一埸推選七名 councillor board members 的大混戰。經果原有的五名保福黨 (pro-Ford) councillors 全部敗北, 被踢出 board, 而史丁斯卻保持了主席之位。

這回合 Council 大獲全勝。

嘿, 看官, 慢一奌。保守黨 魁Hudak 剛在安省議会, 要求 McGuinty 推反多市 Council 决定, 改建地鉄。而肥佬市長还是手握其輿論皇牌, 1010 电台節目。不知鹿死誰手, 有待下回分解。

Robocalls Unearthed Recently

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)


1. “Hi, this is Pierre Poutine, calling from Toronto City Hall, all TTC/Subway council meetings will be postponed indefinitely. For further information, please call 1-888-123-4567.”

2. “Hello, Pierre Poutine here. I would like to inform you, the location of Election Canada Complaint Centre has been changed. Any enquiry should be re-directed to the Liberal/NDP Party instead. Thank you for your co-operation.”

3. “Attention all students, P Poutine here. On behalf of Minister Finley, our Student Employment Centre will be closed for the summer. All students should stay home this summer, and worry about your Old Age Pension. Please check the Internet, Facebook or Twitter for any job opportunities.”

4. “Attention all Canadian. I am calling on hehalf of our PM. Please be very clear, that we absolutely, definitely had no role in any of the fraudulent calls, the Liberals were behind it. Thank you.”

5. “Hello Torontonian, Rob Ford here. Let me repeat myself once again, the majority of people in the city wants subways, not streetcars. Anything else e.g. funding, is irrelevant. SOS. Just thinking ahead, to 2015”

6. “This is Election Canada. Fellow citizens, thank you for your input, so far 31,000 complaints already. Please note that we are requesting Canada to send in Election Observers to restore order.”

7. “Hello Canadians. Do you really believe these so called robocalls? This is simply a sleazy smear campaign of the opposition, nothing more than another Vikileak. Parliament will be business as usual.”

8. “Hi Poutine here. I have a message for you. Get a life, Canadians. There are more important things than robocalls. Leaf just fired Ron Wilson. That is what I called news.”

9. “Hi, I am calling from RackTen, this is a survey of the recent robocall events. Which is the most appropriate term to describe it? Dirty Tricks? Illegal? Watergate? Smear campaign? Joke? Political game? Power Struggle? Thank you for your time”

Top 10 Reasons Why the Fords Want to be Radio Talkhosts

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

1. I quit. Nobody loves me in Council. Don’t want to be mayor anymore
2. In case Torontonians revolted and kick me out
3. John Tory/Josh Matlow can do this, so can I
4. Sorry Josh, out you go
5. Seize the Propaganda machine
6. After a year of training in City Hall, ready for our own comedy show
7. Exit Strategy
8. What to call the show? The City Hall Gang Show? The Toronto Goon Show? The Sub nobody can aFFord? Gravy Train?
9. Talk, talk, talk, that’s what I do best at City Hall anyway
10. Slogan of 680News: You hear about it, it’s news; you read about it, it’s history. For sure, will beat the Star this time


Top 10 Reasons to Fire the TTC General Manager

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

1. Because I can
2. 殺鳮警猴
3. My way or the highway
4. Waste over $500,000 to dismiss him. See, I found the Gravy Train
5. Shut Up. One down, more to go
6. It’s irrelevant
7. If you are not with me, you are with child pornographers
8. With extreme harsh weather, Lastman called in the army, I called my Gang of 5
9. The only way I know – Schoolyard Bullying
10. My brother made me do it

心臓病燒烤館 ( Heart Attack Grill )

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

物極必反。説实話,骨子裡,我們都是反叛的, 很有反潮流精神。

講了這么多年健康之道, 要戒盬戒糖,更要戒肥膩; 味道越来越淸淡, 真是有奌”三月不知肉味”的感受, 物極必反,不其然来一个,一百八十度的大轉彎, 又再嚮往那些又醎又油的食品。本死無大害,人一世,物一世嘛。

KFC 推出了用两塊炸鳮作麵飽的三文治 Double down, Krispy Kreme 也推出了 Donut Burger, 更有到了極端的一間在 Las Vegas (原址在 Chandler, Arizona), 取名叫”心臓病燒烤”(Heart Attack Grill) 的餐館。其口號是”死也值得的一餐”。餐牌更有高 Calories 名叫”心臟搭橋手術”(Bypass Surgery),”心臟双搭橋手術”(Double Bypass Surgery),”心臟三搭橋手術”(Triple Bypass Surgery) 和”心臟四搭橋手術”(Quadruple Bypass Surgery) 的漢堡飽, 用豬油炸的薯條等。

大家都一笑置之, 認為这只是做生意的新綽頭,手法。誰想到,最近,真的有顧客在店內心臓病發, 成了大新聞。

細心想想, 生活得健康,是每人对自已應盡的責任, 絕不是什么笑話,遊戲; 不然就会自食其果了。

Doug Ford sent out an SOS

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)


Councillor Doug Ford wants to rally the people of Toronto to save the mayor’s subway plans.

The Save our Subways campaign, or S.O.S. as he is calling it, is still in its infancy, but the Etobicoke councillor is predicting it will sway the McGuinty government to see things the mayor’s way – just as the voters of Oakville managed to halt construction on a power plant near their homes in the runup to this fall’s provincial election.

Dear Councillor Ford, let me remind you, we already have a Subway campaign. It’s called the $5 Dollar Footlong. Or maybe that is what you mean, you want all Torontonians to contribute $5 to build a foot of the Sheppard Subway system. Hey, that is not a bad idea after all. Just don’t call it a tax. Mayor Ford is dead set against that name.

Let’s do it. Start the campaign ……….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PZE1zfVaJR0

不銹鋼錢包 与 RFID 身份盜竊

 

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

你可能都留意到, 近年又有新的科技 —- 無線射頻辨識(Radio Frequency IDentification,簡稱RFID),這是一種無線通訊技術,可通過無線電訊號識別特定目標,並讀寫相關數據,而無需識別系統與特定目標之間建立直接接觸。

如果你擁有一張嵌入了RFID晶片的信用卡,付款時,只要近距離將卡掃過信用卡讀卡機,嘟一下即完成付款,不必簽字, 更不需要按入任何密碼,非常方便。

但你又有所不知,這些信用卡讀卡機有機會成爲身份盜竊歹徒的犯案工具。

花用不到一百元, 歹徒就能在網上, 買到一部信用卡讀卡機, 他只要在一個人的褲袋附近掃一下, 讀卡機在一秒鐘内就能讀取褲袋或錢包裏的信用卡資料,簡直是神不知鬼不覺。

這種能閲讀RFID晶片的信用卡讀卡機,除了能盜取信用卡資料之外, 還能盜取2006年以後發行, 嵌入RFID晶片美國護照的資料。

有見及此,識時務的商人,相継設計推出,一些專門防盜信用卡套子,也推出了用不銹鋼製成的錢包,避免信用卡資料被盜取, 加強自我保護。

電腦安全專家也指出,民衆有必要提高警覺,防止被歹徒盜取信用卡資料。

雖然直至現時爲止, 並未普遍發生此類型的身份盜竊案,但此類型犯罪防不勝防, 而且很容易逃過法網, 大家還是小心爲重。

賀龍年

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

恭喜,恭喜,恭喜大家,龍年,行運一條龍, 真個龍穿鳳。

恭喜大家, 卧虎藏龍, 一朝龍吟虎嘯, 隆然巨響, 龍的傳人,来了!

恭喜龍子,龍女, 個個龍精虎猛, 生龍活虎, 龍馬精神,又有边個夠佢地威龍!

恭喜, 飛龍在天,再不是淺水游龍, 更要深臨龍潭虎穴, 鯉躍龍門, 一看便知龍與鳯。

又恭喜, 祥龍瑞氣, 雙龍獻瑞, 並祝各位,龍年吉祥, 又能龍飛鳯舞, 龍眉鳯目, 龍鳯呈祥。

恭喜大家, 畫龍點睛, 龍氣冲天, 正所謂, 唔係猛龍就唔過江也。