(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

去旅行，是件苦差。

孩子們小的時候，每年夏天，都要作數星期的驅車遠遊。在還未出發前的幾個月，就要開始籌劃了。從 CAA 找來有關的旅遊冊子 (Tour Books)和地圖，先決定要去的目的地，和沿途所經之城市。從地圖上劃出一條行程，又從旅遊冊子找到沿途合適的旅店，然後打電話去留訂，也參考了其他旅遊書籍，作出要去觀光的旅遊重點。有時也會利用 CAA 的 TripPik 服務，來訂出一條旅遊行程。 Continue reading →

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

請先試試這 TRUMP 測驗。

他的總統御醫(Dr Jackson) 為他作全身檢查後，就認為 TRUMP AS FIT AS A HORSE,

他也以 30 out of 30 的滿分, 順利通過他的智力/精神測驗 (MONTREAL COGNITIVE ASSESSMENT)

http://dementia.ie/images/uploads/site-images/MoCA-Test-English_7_1.pdf

因此，Dr Jackson 宣佈, Trump這老頭子身体健康, 頭腦清醒，每天只需四至五小時睡眠，對總統這職位，全無問題。 Continue reading →

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

老呆，老人癡呆之謂也。

老呆出外遠遊，經常有個口頭禪，掛在嘴邊：

     有得去時便須去

     莫待無廁空叫急

老呆有位朋友，每次旅遊，當旅行團要出發了，導遊提醒大家，作好準備，辦妥一切公事。但這位朋友，往往都說，無需要，I am good. 但開車後不久，他就釀著「人有三急」了。

又有一回，在北京，因為交通阻塞，要提前出發，大家都急忙集合上車。車行不出五分鐘，同行的一位兄弟，就大聲鼓噪起來，急得有如熱窩上的螞蟻，「前線告急」，幸好導遊眼利，見到遠處有一所公廁。旅遊車一停下來，這位兄弟就有如龍捲風一般，衝了出去。回來時，不好意思，小聲地說：多喝了杯咖啡。

出門前，最好多少也換上一些當地的硬幣，以備不時之需，因為有很多國家( 以歐洲的國家為甚 )，上廁所是要收費的。如果身上沒有適當的硬幣，那就只會望門輕嘆，空著急了。

在巴黎近郊的一個小鎮上，有一座自動化的洗手間。放入適當的硬幣，廁所門就會自動打開，讓用戶進去解決三急。用後推門出來。聽說，曾經有人太過精叻，在第一位客人出來時，推著門潛入，想免費使用，誰想到，門一關上，廁所就會自動噴水來清洗，結果弄得全身衣服盡濕。

真是偷雞唔到蝕把米。

在瑞典的斯德哥爾摩，卻碰到一個很特別的公廁模式。在那裡的火車總站，是個大型商場，裡邊商店林立，其中一個鋪位，就是一所公廁，當然是要收費的。如果顧客沒有現金，不用怕，這公廁是收信用卡的。繳費後進去，洗手間也有二十多間，管理得很乾淨，不時有員工在清潔，而且更是客似云來，也不用久候。

說到收費，又記起在羅馬的一件趣事。老呆剛從公廁出來，門前有位大嬸在休息，還跟她打了個招呼。接著迎面而來是一隊自遊行的香港旅客，看樣子，是批很富旅遊經驗的識途老馬，帶頭的領隊，還在討論，上廁應收費多少。隊長見到大嬸，就自信地大聲急急發問：How much ? 大嬸打了個突，還末得回答，第二次 How much 又來了。大嬸趕快回了個价錢，也就樂意收取每人的繳費。其實，我用廁所時，既沒有大嬸，更沒有繳費。

聰明自有聰明誤，太過精叻了。

The Oscar ‘Best Picture’ snafu

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

It’s 5 in the morning, President Trump of La-La Land (as usual, in his euphoric dreamlike mental state, detached from the harsher realities of life) was sitting on his gold toilet bowl, TWEETING.

He was complaining about his presidential popularity rating. It was even lower than Arnold Schwarzenegger ‘s Celebrity Apprentice show, so sad. (BTW He’s fired!?)

He did everything to salvage that. He signed executive order after executive order. He lashed out to everyone, especially the enemy of the people. He fired and abandoned his comrades-in-arm. He even re-enacted his campaign style mass agitation. No luck.

While still sitting on the bowl, pondering, an inspiration suddenly dawned on him. Look at the past few months, almost every weekend, there were some kind of award ceremony, celebrating all different kind of entertainment celebrities and high achievers. Why not also an awards ceremony to celebrate the President, our savior, who is going to make America great again (and in the mean time, generating great fear and nervousness). And can have our own Red Envelope Awards Ceremony. We will call it the O’Scare Awards.

Here are the suggested Categories of Awards :-

• From Russia with Love Comrade-in-arms Award
• Russia Gate Award
• The Next Travel Ban Country Award
• The President for Life Award (acclaimed by Trump, just like buddy Putin)
• The Best Trump Name Branding Award
• Make America Great Again and Line Trump family’s Pocket Win-Win Award
• The Post-Truth so-called Fake News Award
• The Enemy of the People News Media Award
• The Violence Of Immigration Crime Exaggeration Award (VOICE)
• Contractor Without Pay (ask the Mexican) to build the Great Wall Award
• Can Only Handle 140 Words or Less Short Memory Span Award
• The Wire-Tap Dancing Bad (or sick) guy! 聲東擊西 Award

and ALL the Awards go to ……… Our Great Leader and Helmsman Donald Trump

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)