(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

Really, why did you make that public announcement: “I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did was not acceptable.”

Well, fine. But we already knew all these. Further, they should be made between you and your wife, and/or the 19 and more ladies involved, nothing to do with us at all. And you made this public speech and said them with your hand over your heart, just like ready to sing the national anthem, or like pounding on your chest, reciting your mea culpa. It is impressive and bold, but a well scripted public performance, none the less . Not actually a confession, but a publicity stunt, the first step necessary for your return to power and previous glory and follow by more lucrative sponsorships.

There is no doubt that you are a great talented golfer, scandal or not, it won’t affect your scores, unless you are deeply deeply sorry and was so emotionally upset that may influence your concentration and sport performance, and need to get it off your chest, but why do that in public?  Why this tightly controlled showmanship? From this well orchestrated announcement, we can still see the public image of a control freak, a self-centred, and not really sorry, nor rehabilitated individual. We highly doubt the sincerity of this born-again, AA-ish type of talk. If addiction can be cured so easily, we don’t need a 12 steps program, 1 step is more than enough.

What we, the public really want to know, and wasted the 13-1/2 minutes waiting, is all the juicy details, of how and why you cheated, is there a divorce or not, and what kind of settlement, and how much did this lesson cost you. Hand us the dough, just leave the apology to the appropriate parties involved.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

1
All hell broke loose when the madman tried to meet the Biden family for the first time, during the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games. The madman, after he heard that his hero Joe, was coming to town, he was bursting with joy. Presented with this once in a lifetime opportunity, the madman quickly got to work, created his own VIP pass and headed straight for BC Place stadium.

He boldly passed through all the checkpoints and headed for the VIP section. There was his hero, with his wife, kids and grandkids. He locked eye with the RCMP lady. Oh no, trouble, the lady was coming his way. The madman turned and ran. He was taken down.

2
Of course we caught him. We are the Vancouver 2010 Integrated Securities Unit. Our members include personnel from the RCMP, Vancouver Police Department, West Vancouver Police Department and Department of National Defence (a total force of 15,500 under our ISU command). This is not a White House dinner party, no Salahis, only a madman. We spent over billion dollars on our top of the line, state of the art security system. It bounds to be of some use.

We have surveillence cameras everywhere, even connected to Ottawa and the US for instant response. Although in the end, we still have to rely on our well trained human forces, their alertness, excellent eye-sight and quick thinking, to accurately spot those out of place behaviour cues.

Of couse there are loop-holes in our security. We closed the barndoor (i.e. the non-spectator entrance door) as soon as we identified it.

At the end, we are happy to report, Mr. Vice President was never in danger! Of course, what do you expect, it is a madman, not a hitman.

3
As security experts pointed out, since the 9/11 attacks, governments have been spending millions of dollars on high tech screening equipments. They introduced new screening methods in response to new kinds of attack – scanning shoes after the 2001 shoe bomber attack and insisting on 3 oz. plastic bottles and no liquid on board after a foiled 2006 plot to blow up British airlines, a naked total body scanner after the Christmas attack of hiding explosive in underwear. But experts say there are limits to throwing hardware at the problem, even if high-tech fixes could be developed quickly. These are all knee jerk responses, trying to detect and keeping prohibited material away. Instead we should learn from the Israeli airline model, focus on the working of the criminal minds, implement a wide range of behavioral profiling techniques. “Look at each person behind the eyes,” advised an expert, “ there are flaws there that most people would ignore. Once you’ve got a flaw or an inconsistency or a lie, that’s when all the alarm bells ring.”

That’s how the RCMP got their madman this time.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

Already mid February, after the spring break, colleges and universities will be on exam-mode, and pretty soon, a new crop of graduates will be let loose into the cruel real world, facing a bleak future.

Although most of us are too mature to be in this category, but this is for your kids and grand-kids and our younger generation of WYK boys.

Studies showed, there can be long-lasting adverse effects on those who graduate during a recession.

According to an article “I wiil survive”, from McMaster Times, McMaster University of Hamilton, Ontario, new grads should change the way they look at this new reality.

For those having to make drastic changes, beware that during recessions, alcohol abuse, emotional and family tensions register in higher rates of personal and family problems. Professional and personal transitional support, specific career transitional help and learning stress management techniques are key.

People need to change their expectations and be creative about their job hunt. Expert advised, “know who you are, your passions and strengths.” During an interview, “if you understand the environment and have emotional intelligence about it, you’ll blow them away if you can show how structured and forward thinking you are, and if you can demonstrate passions and strenghts that can help them in this downturn.”

Don’t panic. “The economy will recover, but you need to think about new areas of interest and new ways in which the skills that you have can be used somewhere else. Social sciences graduates, for example, end up with a set of very portable skills, such as writing, research, analytics and measurement, but often these grads don’t actually appreciate how portable their skills are, and that they can be applied to multiple settings.”

For those about to graduate, may be their best choice is to stay in school and wait out the recession. Stay in for another year or continue to graduate work. “Or at least have that in your back pocket and if you get a job can always turn down the acceptance or do it part-time.”

Remaining positive and viewing your situation as a platform for next steps will be crucial in this time of upheaval. Increase your chance of getting a job by “having networking cards on hand, with your name, contact information, degree and area of expertise; take advantage of chance meetings and don’t underestimate the power of weak links, because someone you have even a loose connection to has an entirely different set of information and contacts. You don’t necessarily need to be talking to CEOs to get a job, you just need to be trusted by someone they trust and that could be their child, their haridresser or even their neighbours.” “Build a directory of employers to apply to, because you will have a much better chance of getting a job with a company that is not posting a vancancy than with one that is.”

(excerpts from the spring issue of McMaster Times)

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

10. To stop the rain by aiming the flame to the sky at a certain angle (yes,  it worked,  no more rain)

9. To prorogue the Game for more favorable conditions by shutting down the cauldron

8. To contain the Flame to a small area to reduce carbon pollution, in the spirit of the Copenhagen 2009

7. To create an eye-sore, oh, I mean a tourist attraction

6. To create more jobs, in setting up and altering the fences daily; stimulated by the Canada’s Economic Action Plan

5. This is how Vancouver fights crime, put everything under lock and key

4. To boost the spirit of our athletes, VANOC promised the fence will be down once we have 10 Gold medals

3. By placing the Olympic flame behind a fence became a symbol in itself

2. To prevent terrorists attacks and avoid protests at all cost

1. Without the Olympic Flame, some Olympians are already too hot to handle (see picture below)

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

You don’t need to be born in the year of the Tiger to be one. You can just called yourself Tiger, like Mr. Wood or the rock band, Glass Tiger; or simply behave like one.

According to the Chinese Zodiac, a tiger is “Courageous, active, and self-assured. Optimistic, passionate and independent. Rebellious, dynamic, and unpredictable. Quick tempered but considerate. Affectionate but careless. The Tiger is a natural born leader and symbolizes power, passion and daring.” Fit you to a T?

So what type of tiger are you? Here are a few choices.

1. Roaring Tiger — So much have been writen about this fierce and fearsome animal. When a tigress roars (or any tiger for that matter), the world shakes. It is nerve-racking to be under the cold stare of a tiger. It is extremely lucky to survive from the tiger’s mouth. You have to go in the tiger’s cave to catch its cub. But still you can beat up a tiger, 武松(Wu Song) did it.

2. Virile Tiger (Wood) — A tiger in the bed !? Is that the minimum requirement of a politician/celebrity? Included in this streak/ambush of tigers: JFK, Bill Clinton, David Letterman, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Tiger Wood, Mark Sandford ……….. and our Toronto local boy Adam Giambrone. And please don’t forget, Mrs Robinson, a virile tigress no doubt, had joined the streak. What an impressive ambush.

3. Paper Tiger — In a 1956 interview with the American journalist Anna Louise Strong, Mao Zedong used the phrase to describe the United States:

“In appearance it is very powerful but in reality it is nothing to be afraid of; it is a paper tiger. Outwardly a tiger, it is made of paper, unable to withstand the wind and the rain.”

History finally proves him right.

4. Crouching Tiger — Be prepared to run for your life, this is the attack position of a tiger, crouching low, but ready to leap out and strike. This is the moment of calm before the sudden onslaught of a storm. Restraining its hidden power and savageness, the tiger is silently lying low and then, suddenly explodes and leaps, shows off its spectacular colours, bursts into its full glory. A magnificient fighter.

5. Tiger in the Plain — This is a completely different scenario. A tiger that has left his natural mountainous habitat, and wandered onto the grassland, a  flat open plain with nowhere to hide; inevitably attacked and chased by the dogs. A fading star.

Plain Tiger (Danaus chrysippus) actually is a butterfly, also known as the African Monarch.

6. Fox in Tiger’s Terror — One day a tiger was hunting around in a forest. An unlucky fox was met and caught by the tiger. For the fox, the inescapable fate was very clear — death. Despite the danger, the fox thought hard to find a way out. Promptly, the fox declared to the tiger, “How dare you kill me!” On hearing the words the tiger was surprised and asked for the reason” The fox raised his voice a bit higher and declared arrogantly: “To tell you the truth, it’s I who was accredited by God to the forest as the king of all the animals! If you kill me, that will be against the God’s will, you know?” Seeing that the tiger became suspicions, the fox added: “Let’s have a test. Let’s go through the forest. Follow me and you will see HOW THE ANIMALS ARE FRIGHTENED OF ME.” The tiger agreed. So the fox walked ahead of the tiger proudly through the forest. As you can imagine, the animals, seeing the tiger behind, were all terribly frightened and ran away. Then the fox said proudly: “There is no doubt that what I said is true, isn’t it?” The tiger had nothing to say but to acknowledge the result. So the tiger nodded and said: “You are right. You are the king.” An imposter, but a quick thinker.

7. Tony the Tiger vs Exxon Tiger — Put a tiger in your tank, or your cereal. Tony the Tiger is the advertising cartoon mascot for Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes breakfast cereal, appearing on its packaging and advertising. The Exxon cartoon tiger was used by the Exxon Mobile Oil company in its advertising campaign, first appeared in 1964. In the 1990’s they were embroiled in a court battle regarding the trademark of the tiger. These tigers are great salesmen. They charmed their ways onto your kitchen table and into your automobiles. Combining the charm of Tony and the virility of Tiger, you can cruise leisurely around town, boosted by the Exxon tiger in your gas tank.

8. Tigger — Tigger is a very bouncy fella. Tigger is amongst the most exuberant creatures in the 100 Acre Wood, of Winnie the Pooh fame. His most stand out and well-known feature is his very springy tail. When Tigger is in a bouncing mood he is actually expressing his zest for life and is a form which he often uses as a technique to share his eagerness and happiness or even fondness amongst his dear friends. He shall act on impulse and will make a dash on being jubilant but that impulsive dash more often than not is jumping around without taking measure of the surroundings. This at times leads to mishaps and causes utter mayhem. What is also regarded to being one of his hobbies is that he will exaggerate the truth. He is quite a free spirit.

9. Hobbes the Tiger — Hobbes is a character in the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. He is Calvin’s stuffed tiger, and is depicted with two distinct identities. From the perspective of his owner, Calvin, Hobbes is a real individual with thoughts, feelings and ideas just as every other character. From everyone else’s perspective, Hobbes is seen as Calvin’s stuffed tiger, given personality and action only by Calvin’s active imagination. He is named after 17th century philosopher Thomas Hobbes, who had “a dim view of human nature.” (Thomas Hobbes claimed that humans’ natural state is a state of war, where “the life of man: solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”) Hobbes is much more rational and aware of consequences than Calvin, but seldom interferes with Calvin’s troublemaking beyond a few oblique warnings — after all, Calvin will be the one to get in trouble for it, not Hobbes. He is Calvin’s sub-conscious and teacher.

So what type are you? Really?

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

Once upon a time, all species of the Animal Kingdom, gathered every year in a sport meet. They called it the Games. Amateur athletes got together, to compete in all kinds of sport, for fun and friendship. Winners were awarded with medals to commemorate their best effort, well done.

One year, some animals got smart, and started training their athletes all year round, and swept up all the medals. After that, all athletes turned professional. They built their dreams on winning gold. They pushed their physical ability to their limits and perfected their athletic skills. They sacrificed, trained and endured to fulfill their dreams. They broke kingdom records, after records.

They proclaimed the Games spirit,

“The most important thing in the Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.”

They enjoyed their time together, and looked forward to see each other and the competitions, year after year.

The Games spirit evolved into the national pride and patriotism of all animals of the kingdom. Every year they cheered their teams on, proud and elated in their acheivements, to be part of the Games.

Eventually, all athletes’ physical and skill limits were reached. How were they to break more kingdom records and win medals? To attain new breakthrough, they turned to scientific reserches, to technology advances in designing new sport equipments and facilities, to extend their performances and skills, and break more records. But the unscrupulous ones, turned to cheating, using illegal drugs, steroids, hormones and such to win, at all costs. They also considered to make use of advances in medical science like gene therapy/genetic-manupilation, simply to enhance performances, to win medals.

In the future, will surrogate robotic doubles start appearing in the Games?

Competitions of the Games no longer confined only to the sport events. The opening and closing ceremonies staged by the hosts were getting more and more elaborate and spectacular, they out-did each other, year after year. The events also became photo-ops for politicians.

That’s the end of the Aesop Fable.

Then it happened. The accidental death of an Olympic luger. No matter what its cause is, we know we all are pushing too hard, in the quest of gold. This should be a lightening rod on our head, a warning signal that was long overdued and too late in coming.

We should get back to the root, to the Olympic spirit, winning is not everything. As our past gold medalist Nancy Greene Raine said today in her Toronto Star article, “Ignite a Dream, Create a Winner” :

When the Games are over and we ask “Did we win?”, we shouldn’t measure it simply by the number of medals our athletes take home.

We should ask, “Have we inspired participation in active and healthy lifestyles in people all across Canada? Did we change the way Canadians value excellence in sport? Are more kids interested in pursuing excellence? Did those medals ignite kids to get involved?”

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

You have no choice. You need to come out of your retirement and start working. Every month, you fear to open the envelopes and are reluctant to look at your bank and financial statements. Their values keep going south. You have no choice, you have to come out of your retirement.

You have to start over again.

You look through all the self help retirement guides and articles, but nothing has been specifically written to prepare you for such a sorry state: What to do when forced out of retirement.

You ended up writing your own guideline.

1. Throw away all your pamphlets on vactions, tours and cruises and put your world travel on hold.

2. Say good-bye to all your gym and Tai Chi buddies, and your McDonald morning coffee friends.

3. Decide how much you are short and really need to survive, then decide what type of job: full-time or part-time.

4. Are you going back to your area of expertise or want to explore new career?

5. Re-establish your networking, talk to your friends and old colleagues, hairstylist, barber, shop-keepers, neighbours or anyone who listen.

6. Learn new tools, use the Internet, cell phone, get a Facebook account, gmail address, twitter account.

7. Dye your hair and put on a happy face.

8. Look at those young job-seekers straight in the eyes, yes, your competitors, and don’t feel guilty. We will all survive.

9. Start pouncing the pavement.

10. If nothing works, go back to school. It is never too old to learn new tricks.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

Prime Minister Stephen Harper makes an address to the Legislative Assembly of British Columbia in Victoria on Thursday.

How embarrassing, our PM in exile? he can’t even speak from his own parliament in Ottawa any more, and have to travel across the country to speak in the BC parliament instead. He was forced to shutter parliament and got into exile because of rouge parliamentarians.

Mr. Ignatieff and Mr. Layton, please stop harrassing our PM. He is just doing his job.

His speech to the legislature is a “first,” Mr Harper pointed out, saying “no Prime Minister has ever formally addressed this great assembly” since B.C. joined Confederation in 1871.

That’s right. There is nothing to worry about. It happens all the time, government-in-exile, and have to govern from a foreign country; but speaking from the legislature of a friendly province, to communicate with all Canadians, it actually is a “first”.

It reminds me of some of our ancient Chinese emperors throughout Chinese history, in fencing off the attacks and invasions of barbarians, were forced into exile and had to govern in a different part of China, hoping one day would return to reclaim the thrones.

It also reminds me of that time, I forgot my house key and was locked out of my own home. I had to knock on my neighbour’s door, to ask them to let me use their phone to communicate with my office. It was quite ambarrassing. Our PM must felt the same way in BC.

I am calling on all Canadians, to invite our PM into our houses, one day for each family, and let him communicate with the whole country and the world, using our phone, computer, Blackberry and what not, then I am sure he can function without parliament for a long while and doesn’t have to go the perogation route ever again.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

Mr. Toyoda, please take note.

You must have heard about the crises of Tylenol cyanide poisoning in 1982 and the Exxon oil spilt in 1989, History has already judged them, how good or bad they were managed. Today let us revisit a crisis that happened only over a year ago, here in Canada, the Maple Leaf Foods Listeriosis contamination.

More than 20 deaths and dozens of listeriosis cases were linked to meat produced at a Toronto Maple Leaf Food plant in 2008. Maple Leaf Foods immediately shut down the plant in question and recalled approximately 20 types of meat involved. As investigators uncovered more information, the company took precautionary measures and widened its recall to include 200 additional products.

The company also posted prominently on its website detailed information of all involved products that should be avoided.

The site also was updated constantly with press releases and the public were encouraged to check back frequently to find out what the company was doing to win back customers’ confidence.

A full page letter from CEO Michael McCain quickly appeared in the major Canadian newspapers.

The company also ran ads on TV with all the Canadian channels and on YouTube, featuring a sombre CEO, apologizing to all Canadians and promised to clean up the contamination as fast as they can. The company launched an aggressive ads campaign on steps taken (e.g. new installed equipments, procedures and manpower) to prevent similar problems in the future.

The company then spent the past year working to restore its brand reputation.

The company reached a $27-million settlement with plaintiffs across Canada in February 2009, 6 months after the crisis.

The company also instituted new procedures and testing at its plants, and has largely recovered from the damage of the recall, posting a profit in the third quarter of 2009, and making gains in its prepared meats division just one year after the outbreak.

So what can Toyota learn from this example of crisis management?

First and foremost, Mr. Toyoda, you should be the designated spokeman of the company and get in front of the media at all time, to tell your side of the story and progress made.

You should publicly and sincerely apologize through TV and YouTube. No more damaging comments like ‘everyone can make mistakes’.

Move quickly and proactively in all recalls, as soon as legitimate complaints are registered. Thorough investigations should be done simutaneously, but not as an excuse to delay action. This will demonstrate to customers that Toyota does really care about people’s safety.

Identify and fix the problems quickly and efficently. Although that little gadget may really solve the whole accelerator problem, why not change the whole pedal too; such gesture may make people feel safer that more have been done.

Absorb all the costs of loss and settle the court cases quickly. Its your company’s reputation at stake here, cannot nickel and dime now, nor can you let the court cases drag on for long time. With the reputation ruined, you will lose your money making machine anyway.

Be open, inform the public of your every move and progress made, to build back consumers’ confidence, a step at a time.

Good luck.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

You heard this during every flight of your air travel.

“Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome aboard Flt 890 with non-stop service, to Your City. In order for the captain to pull away from the gate area, all isles and exit rows must be cleared, at this time you should be comfortable seated, with your seatbelt securely fastened, if you are traveling with any hand luggage please make sure they are securely stowed under the seat or the overhead bin. Your seat back should be in the upright positions, at this time all electronic devices, must be shut off and put away, that includes, cell phone, pagers, video games, iPods, video recorders, laptop computers, and headsets.”

And this during every theatre performance.

“Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to tonight’s performance of our Play. Please note that any recording of this performance, either through video or photograph is strictly prohibited. A reminder that Mobile phones should also be turned off. Thank you and we hope you enjoy tonight’s performance”

And now may be this.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome aboard TTC Bus 123, My name is Tom and I am your driver today. For the safety of all passengers and driver, please turn off your cell phones and other electronic video and sound recording devices, and have them stowed away. Non-compliance will result in being evicted from this bus. BTW, TTC is an equal opportunity corporation, if any passenger has problem holding his/her water, please inform the driver gently, we will stop at the next available washroom. Please, please, don’t harass our staff. Thank you for your attention, and have a nice and safe trip.”

Or this.

“Hi shoppers, welcome to Walmart. Hope you have found everything you want, with our everyday low prices. Just join the line at our checkout counters. We are serving customers in sequence and to our best efficiency. Now please turn off and put away your cell and other recording devices. No video recording is allowed of our staff in the store. Thank you for your co-operation. Have a nice Walmart day.”

Pretty soon, the province will pass a new Video-Free Law that prohibits video recording in public places, without a license,  offender will be fined $9.99 (at rolled-back prices), and mugshot posted on YouTube, but with no demerit points deducted though.

Watch out for the Video-Free police.