What Type of Tiger Are You?

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

You don’t need to be born in the year of the Tiger to be one. You can just called yourself Tiger, like Mr. Wood or the rock band, Glass Tiger; or simply behave like one.

According to the Chinese Zodiac, a tiger is “Courageous, active, and self-assured. Optimistic, passionate and independent. Rebellious, dynamic, and unpredictable. Quick tempered but considerate. Affectionate but careless. The Tiger is a natural born leader and symbolizes power, passion and daring.” Fit you to a T?

So what type of tiger are you? Here are a few choices.

1. Roaring Tiger — So much have been writen about this fierce and fearsome animal. When a tigress roars (or any tiger for that matter), the world shakes. It is nerve-racking to be under the cold stare of a tiger. It is extremely lucky to survive from the tiger’s mouth. You have to go in the tiger’s cave to catch its cub. But still you can beat up a tiger, 武松(Wu Song) did it.

2. Virile Tiger (Wood) — A tiger in the bed !? Is that the minimum requirement of a politician/celebrity? Included in this streak/ambush of tigers: JFK, Bill Clinton, David Letterman, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Tiger Wood, Mark Sandford ……….. and our Toronto local boy Adam Giambrone. And please don’t forget, Mrs Robinson, a virile tigress no doubt, had joined the streak. What an impressive ambush.

3. Paper Tiger — In a 1956 interview with the American journalist Anna Louise Strong, Mao Zedong used the phrase to describe the United States:

In appearance it is very powerful but in reality it is nothing to be afraid of; it is a paper tiger. Outwardly a tiger, it is made of paper, unable to withstand the wind and the rain.

History finally proves him right.

4. Crouching Tiger — Be prepared to run for your life, this is the attack position of a tiger, crouching low, but ready to leap out and strike. This is the moment of calm before the sudden onslaught of a storm. Restraining its hidden power and savageness, the tiger is silently lying low and then, suddenly explodes and leaps, shows off its spectacular colours, bursts into its full glory. A magnificient fighter.

5. Tiger in the Plain — This is a completely different scenario. A tiger that has left his natural mountainous habitat, and wandered onto the grassland, a  flat open plain with nowhere to hide; inevitably attacked and chased by the dogs. A fading star.

Plain Tiger (Danaus chrysippus) actually is a butterfly, also known as the African Monarch.

6. Fox in Tiger’s Terror — One day a tiger was hunting around in a forest. An unlucky fox was met and caught by the tiger. For the fox, the inescapable fate was very clear — death. Despite the danger, the fox thought hard to find a way out. Promptly, the fox declared to the tiger, “How dare you kill me!” On hearing the words the tiger was surprised and asked for the reason” The fox raised his voice a bit higher and declared arrogantly: “To tell you the truth, it’s I who was accredited by God to the forest as the king of all the animals! If you kill me, that will be against the God’s will, you know?” Seeing that the tiger became suspicions, the fox added: “Let’s have a test. Let’s go through the forest. Follow me and you will see HOW THE ANIMALS ARE FRIGHTENED OF ME.” The tiger agreed. So the fox walked ahead of the tiger proudly through the forest. As you can imagine, the animals, seeing the tiger behind, were all terribly frightened and ran away. Then the fox said proudly: “There is no doubt that what I said is true, isn’t it?” The tiger had nothing to say but to acknowledge the result. So the tiger nodded and said: “You are right. You are the king.” An imposter, but a quick thinker.

7. Tony the Tiger vs Exxon Tiger — Put a tiger in your tank, or your cereal. Tony the Tiger is the advertising cartoon mascot for Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes breakfast cereal, appearing on its packaging and advertising. The Exxon cartoon tiger was used by the Exxon Mobile Oil company in its advertising campaign, first appeared in 1964. In the 1990’s they were embroiled in a court battle regarding the trademark of the tiger. These tigers are great salesmen. They charmed their ways onto your kitchen table and into your automobiles. Combining the charm of Tony and the virility of Tiger, you can cruise leisurely around town, boosted by the Exxon tiger in your gas tank.

8. Tigger — Tigger is a very bouncy fella. Tigger is amongst the most exuberant creatures in the 100 Acre Wood, of Winnie the Pooh fame. His most stand out and well-known feature is his very springy tail. When Tigger is in a bouncing mood he is actually expressing his zest for life and is a form which he often uses as a technique to share his eagerness and happiness or even fondness amongst his dear friends. He shall act on impulse and will make a dash on being jubilant but that impulsive dash more often than not is jumping around without taking measure of the surroundings. This at times leads to mishaps and causes utter mayhem. What is also regarded to being one of his hobbies is that he will exaggerate the truth. He is quite a free spirit.

9. Hobbes the Tiger — Hobbes is a character in the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. He is Calvin’s stuffed tiger, and is depicted with two distinct identities. From the perspective of his owner, Calvin, Hobbes is a real individual with thoughts, feelings and ideas just as every other character. From everyone else’s perspective, Hobbes is seen as Calvin’s stuffed tiger, given personality and action only by Calvin’s active imagination. He is named after 17th century philosopher Thomas Hobbes, who had “a dim view of human nature.” (Thomas Hobbes claimed that humans’ natural state is a state of war, where “the life of man: solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”) Hobbes is much more rational and aware of consequences than Calvin, but seldom interferes with Calvin’s troublemaking beyond a few oblique warnings — after all, Calvin will be the one to get in trouble for it, not Hobbes. He is Calvin’s sub-conscious and teacher.

So what type are you? Really?

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