(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

You just happened to be in the wrong place.

No fun to be the Canadian Police nowadays, eh.

Cry of police brutality was everywhere; in Vancouver, Toronto and even Ottawa.

A Vancouver policeman pushed a female citizen with multiple sclerosis to the ground, simply because she touched him while walking too close to him, in her awkward gait. He was only now been charged, many months after.

In Ottawa, video tapes showed Ottawa police kneed and stripped search a female, and kicked a homeless man. The Ottawa police chief did admit, they do have a problem and is looking into it, stay tune.

In Toronto, the Ontario Ombudsman Andre Marin released a report “Caught in the Act”, charged that the G20 secret law passed by the Ontario government and enacted by police, with brutal force, is illegal. The massive arrest and beating of peaceful protesters by no-name policeman and woman, were recorded on video tapes and photographs.

Do you still remember Officer Bubble, the utube famous policeman, who threatened and later, actually arrested a female bubble-blower?

Chief Blair, you just happened to be in the wrong place. If you are in China, the government will already be flexing their muscle for you.

G20 5M type of law was common practice in China. Look at Liu Xia, Liu Xiao Bo,’s wife, was already under preemptive house arrest, soon after Liu was announced as the winner. Or a 5000KM law, for Liu’s academic friends, warned not to leave the country, effectively prevented them to attend the Oslo ceremony. And all these, without any outcry from its citizen. They did not utter a word of protest.

There, you don’t have to hide your name tag or badge number, or threaten any peaceful bubble blower, just utter something like “My dad is Lee Kong”, then everything will be all right. Even the families of any policeman will be served and protected, for their own interest, with iron fists. No need to raise a baton.

Don’t worry; even if you stay here, there are still options available. For example, you can always run for the next federal election as a star candidate.

For now, yes we understand, you just happened to be in the wrong place.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

1. Stick to the obvious. “No Comment” is still the most commonly used and reliable vocabulary of any politician.

2. Start each cable/email/correspondence with a Declaration: The following communication may contain hot, smelly, and explosive content. Viewers discretion is advised.

3. Another attempt with “wash your hands” tactics: start with this, “Don’t know if it is true or not, but here it is anyway”, OR “is there any merit in this? Please comment!”

4. Call the Plumbers, the White House Plumbers [a], that is.

5. Apply Leak Ender 2000, the miracle leak sealer [b] .

6. Follow Mayor Ford’s shining example. Stop the gravy (gluey) train (leak), declared “War on the Car” (Info Super Highway) is over. We are going underground.

7. Divert attention, start another war (Korean?)

8. Follow the advice of an ex-Harper advisor [c] .

9. Hello magazine, National Enquirer, Entertainment Tonight, 八卦雜誌 ………, ladies and gentlemen, here is our latest, the brand new Gossip Girls (and Guys) show, the politically correct WikiLeaks.

10. Wear a Pamper.

[a] The White House Plumbers, sometimes simply called the Plumbers, were a covert White House Special Investigations Unit established July 24, 1971 during the presidency of Richard Nixon. Its task was to stop the leaking of classified information to the news media. Its members branched into illegal activities working for the Committee to Re-elect the President, including the Watergate break-ins and the ensuing Watergate scandal.

[b] The miracle sealer that stops virtually any leak immediately! Great for gutters, pipes, walls, pools, flashing, roofs and more! (a TV commercial)

[c] Mr. Flanagan, an ex-Harper advisor, now a Calgary University professor, made his comments on CBC’s Power and Politics show Tuesday evening. In a discussion about the significance of the leaks, Mr. Flanagan said: “I think Assange (of WikiLeaks), should be assassinated, actually. I think Obama should put out a contract or maybe use a drone or something.”

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

According to Wikipedia, “Malingering is a medical term that refers to fabricating or exaggerating the symptoms of mental or physical disorders for a variety of “secondary gain” motives, which may include financial compensation (often tied to fraud); avoiding school, work or military service; obtaining drugs; getting lighter criminal sentences; or simply to attract attention or sympathy.”

This is a very common and widespread phenomenon, from the much jokingly used “I have a headache”, to a hoax as in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, to the disgusting cancer fakers.

The medical community is full of such tales.

While in medical school, a professor told us this: A man came into the emergency department, complaining of back pain. He walked with a significant limp; his back bent and was in constant pain. Examination and X-ray showed nothing. He was diagnosed as malingering, and sent on his way. To be sure, our good-hearted doctor followed him out of the hospital, and observed. For a few blocks, he was still limping, dragging his leg. Our professor was almost ready to call him back to the hospital, when suddenly, he straightened up his back and marched quickly onward and disappeared into the night.

On another occasion, while interning, an old man was admitted to hospital for investigation, complained of general weakness. To our amazement he used his hospital bed as a hotel room, disappeared in the day time and showed up only at night, came and went as he wished. When he was in, he was constantly on the phone, conducting his business. We were ready to discharge him, but by then, we discovered that he really had a medical problem, a type of slow progressing blood cancer. As soon as we broke the news to him, he was quite indignant and immediately signed himself out of the hospital. When malingering became a real condition, he refused to accept and face the consequences.

And then there were those infamous patients, who were frequent visitors to the emergency departments around town, carrying with them letters from doctors stating that they have certain chronic disease that required pain medications. As soon as they arrived, we usually heard about the warnings throughout the department right away, and be on our guard.

Occasionally we have the professional patient who seemed to know the medical textbooks thoroughly, and can fool any well-knowledge doctor; they proudly displayed their surgical scars to prove their tales, but obviously with no actual findings. They are the un-avoidable Munchhausen’s. It is a disturbing psychological disease. Most of them refused proper psychiatric treatment when confronted.

And then every day in their office, physician faced the many drug addicts, seeking pain-killers and other prescribed drugs. They invented stories and believable clinical histories and symptoms, just to get a prescription to satisfy their habit. Early in my practice, there was this Dutch ophthalmologist, daughter of a patient of mine, who was visiting from Holland. She gave a history of certain cancer that led to a bone fracture of her back while horseback riding. I referred her to a specialist, really concern about the seriousness of her illness. A few weeks later, I received the consultation report; the specialist found no signs or symptoms of any cancer but discovered the lady was addicted to drugs. Contrary to her advice, the father remained my patient for years.

A warning to those cancer fakers, eventually when the real wolf strikes, by then, no matter how loud you cried wolf, nobody will believe you, and you will be left all alone in this world, a pathetic tragedy of your own making.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

G&M — This bizarre case happened a week ago on an Air Canada flight from Hong Kong to Vancouver.

Several hours into the trip, a male passenger went into the bathroom elderly and white – his face wrinkled, eyes scrunched nearly shut, only a few wisps of white hair clinging to his otherwise bald scalp – and emerged a fresh-faced, young Asian.

The man is currently being detained by the Canadian Border Services Agency. He filed a refugee claim as soon as he arrived in Canada, according to the agency’s alert.

It is unclear how the man got through passport control or why he disguised himself to get on the plane.

Why? Here are  Top 10 Reasons Why.

1. That is Tom Cruise’s test run for Mission Impossible 4
2. He forgot to take off his Halloween costume before boarding the plane. He was on his way to the Campbellford Halloween party
3. Canada Custom missed out on all the other young looking guys on the plane. A strange thing happened while crossing all the different time zones.
4. Another time Traveler, just returning from “Back to the Future”/ Chaplin’s Circus
5. It’s Iggy the Superman, caught in the process of changing identity/costume, trying to boost up his poor ratings (see picture below)
6. A once in a lifetime tour from HK. The Trip of the Fountain of Youth. Boarding as an old man and got off the plane  a young guy. A dream for us baby boomers comes true. Thank you fairy godmother!
7. Air Canada, I demand to know what the flight number is. When is the next flight?
8. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
9. 時光倒流 兒時可再 以此與為證印者矣
10. !@#$%&* I can do anything I want. 「我爸是李剛！」

Hey, wait a minute, just read the other article, My Mediterranean Cruise. Here is the actual reason.

11. It’s John Fung, just back from his Mediterranean Cruise. In his own words: “I traversed over 6000 years of history and witnessed the grandeur of four magnificent civilizations: Egyptian, Greek, Roman and Byzantine.”  There, I rest my case.

(Through Rose Coloured-Glasses)

天下事真是無其不有。專家們剛開始相争分析 ROB FORD 之謎, 今天, 又有新的怪事: 時光旅客之謎。

諸君請先看看這相片, 是来自查理卓別林的電影: 馬戲班。在右邉, 有位女士, 邉行邊在講話; 她的左手, 好像是拿着一副講機之類的物件。當然, 這現象, 在今天, 巳是大行其道, 不會再使人大驚小怪, 但這電影是在 1928 年拍攝的。

記得小的時候, 在香港街頭, 碰上有人手舞足蹈, 自言自語, 早就避之則吉焉, 那是個狂人, 儍婆。但今天, 我們經常都會碰上有人, 邉走邊跟自己説話, 也會手舞足蹈, 旁若無人, 那人只是在煲電話粥而焉。

再回頭看看那張相片, 那婦人是否真的? 這只是現代錄影技術的製作, 或是一位時光旅客? 或是 Back To The Future 25 週年紀念的宣傳?  還是讓讀者諸君来自行決擇。

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

1. I am from China, no need
2. I am new in the neighbourhood, cannot find the voting station
3. I am in a hurry, next time for sure
4. Last time I vote, Harper became PM
5. My mother hasn’t told me who to vote for
6. You get Rob Ford anyway
7. I hate to see anyone losing
8. Too many choices, can’t make up my mind
9. The dog ate the voting card
10. I am casting a protest vote by not voting
11. I am all for, BTW what are they voting anyway
12. Justin Bieber is not running

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

我地都警告過班鬼佬, 唔好選佢架啦, 點知那班委員會, 全是食古不化的老頑固, 一 D 面都唔俾我地, 偏偏就選佢, 嘿, 你地就等著瞧啦。老虎唔發火就當病貓, 等我地flex下muscle, 再加倍我地的 Low Currency Policy, 大量推出廉價貨色, 又睇吓, 世界經濟又會衰到去邊。

我地堂堂大國, 一個奧運, 一個世博, 都一擲千金, 搞得金壁輝煌, 出色萬分, 又點會因這諾貝爾而咁失威。其實今次 D 個只係和平奬, 又唔係什麼偉大的科學發明, 只是個小小的政治工具, 連 Obama 也可以是去年的得奬人, 其重要性可見一班。况且, 必要時我地中國人, 大可以自己搞叧外一個諾貝爾, 就夠體面啦。

諾貝爾和平奬, 是洋人的玩意兒。這次得奬者更是中國民運知名人物, 是西方干預中國內政又一見証。愛, 本是無條件的; 愛國, 又點會以民主為前提呢? 最近在英國, 澳洲, 太過民主, 結果選出了 minority government 就要依靠各黨派聯盟, 政府才能運作; 在加拿大, Harper 出盡九牛二虎之力, 分而治之, 過着做一日和尚敲一日鐘的艱苦歲月, 不似我們辦起事来, 要風得風, 要雨得雨, 全無障礙。一黨專政就是好。

但今次的諾貝爾事件, 還是要小心一點為上策, 不要太過張掦, 讓人民聼到風聲, 引起另一次天安門。 實行新聞鎖封, 還要再激發更多 D 民族感, 加強民族自豪。但世博巳近尾聲, 怎麼辨呢?

来来来, 有了。

保衞鈎魚台, 抵制日貨。

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

1. When you are a Canadian Citizen, but not an immigrant, and definitely not an illegal one
2. When you caught the thief red-handed, with stolen item in hand, not before, and definitely not after
3. Don’t rely on the police. They are there only to Protect and Serve. But whom? The citizen thieves, of course
4. If the thief returned to your shop to steal again, do not chase him down, offer him another bundle of flower instead, and tea?
5. There is a right way, and there is a wrong way. Be nice to the thief, invite him into your shop and patiently wait for the police
6. That is the price of doing business in Canada, in chinatown, at least
7. Get your own security patrol and let them do the arrest
8. It’s easier to have a Cardiac Arrest
9. To keep everybody employed, in this tough economic time. That includes the judge, the prosecutors, the lawyers, the police, the court staff, the translators, even the citizen thief, all by our taxpayers money
10. Let’s ask Rob Ford by robocall