《體育王國》__ 陳柏齡 (71)

求學時期曾經做過酒保。從服侍酒客的工作經驗中,我獲得二個心德,其一,美國人不能無酒喝。其二,美國人不能無球賽看。二可缺一,否則週末難打發。

小兒即將與同學去墨西哥 Cancun 的海灘渡春假,NCAA 大學籃球邀請賽,三月瘋狂,March madness, 也立刻開始。我把觀感告訴他:

「There are two things the American can’t do without. 1, Alcohol. 2, sports.」
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The Red Envelope Award

The Oscar ‘Best Picture’ snafu

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

It’s 5 in the morning, President Trump of La-La Land (as usual, in his euphoric dreamlike mental state, detached from the harsher realities of life) was sitting on his gold toilet bowl, TWEETING.

He was complaining about his presidential popularity rating. It was even lower than Arnold Schwarzenegger ‘s Celebrity Apprentice show, so sad. (BTW He’s fired!?)

He did everything to salvage that. He signed executive order after executive order. He lashed out to everyone, especially the enemy of the people. He fired and abandoned his comrades-in-arm. He even re-enacted his campaign style mass agitation. No luck.

While still sitting on the bowl, pondering, an inspiration suddenly dawned on him. Look at the past few months, almost every weekend, there were some kind of award ceremony, celebrating all different kind of entertainment celebrities and high achievers. Why not also an awards ceremony to celebrate the President, our savior, who is going to make America great again (and in the mean time, generating great fear and nervousness). And can have our own Red Envelope Awards Ceremony. We will call it the O’Scare Awards.

Here are the suggested Categories of Awards :-

  • From Russia with Love Comrade-in-arms Award
  • Russia Gate Award
  • The Next Travel Ban Country Award
  • The President for Life Award (acclaimed by Trump, just like buddy Putin)
  • The Best Trump Name Branding Award
  • Make America Great Again and Line Trump family’s Pocket Win-Win Award
  • The Post-Truth so-called Fake News Award
  • The Enemy of the People News Media Award
  • The Violence Of Immigration Crime Exaggeration Award (VOICE)
  • Contractor Without Pay (ask the Mexican) to build the Great Wall Award
  • Can Only Handle 140 Words or Less Short Memory Span Award
  • The Wire-Tap Dancing Bad (or sick) guy! 聲東擊西 Award

and ALL the Awards go to ……… Our Great Leader and Helmsman Donald Trump