Robocalls Unearthed Recently

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

1. “Hi, this is Pierre Poutine, calling from Toronto City Hall, all TTC/Subway council meetings will be postponed indefinitely. For further information, please call 1-888-123-4567.”

2. “Hello, Pierre Poutine here. I would like to inform you, the location of Election Canada Complaint Centre has been changed. Any enquiry should be re-directed to the Liberal/NDP Party instead. Thank you for your co-operation.”

3. “Attention all students, P Poutine here. On behalf of Minister Finley, our Student Employment Centre will be closed for the summer. All students should stay home this summer, and worry about your Old Age Pension. Please check the Internet, Facebook or Twitter for any job opportunities.”

4. “Attention all Canadian. I am calling on hehalf of our PM. Please be very clear, that we absolutely, definitely had no role in any of the fraudulent calls, the Liberals were behind it. Thank you.”

5. “Hello Torontonian, Rob Ford here. Let me repeat myself once again, the majority of people in the city wants subways, not streetcars. Anything else e.g. funding, is irrelevant. SOS. Just thinking ahead, to 2015”

6. “This is Election Canada. Fellow citizens, thank you for your input, so far 31,000 complaints already. Please note that we are requesting Canada to send in Election Observers to restore order.”

7. “Hello Canadians. Do you really believe these so called robocalls? This is simply a sleazy smear campaign of the opposition, nothing more than another Vikileak. Parliament will be business as usual.”

8. “Hi Poutine here. I have a message for you. Get a life, Canadians. There are more important things than robocalls. Leaf just fired Ron Wilson. That is what I called news.”

9. “Hi, I am calling from RackTen, this is a survey of the recent robocall events. Which is the most appropriate term to describe it? Dirty Tricks? Illegal? Watergate? Smear campaign? Joke? Political game? Power Struggle? Thank you for your time”

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