| 訴衷情 李清照 (1084-1155) | Revealing Inner Feelings Li Qing Zhao 江紹倫譯 |
| 夜來沈醉卸妝遲 | Heavily drunk I undress late last night |
| 梅萼插殘枝 | Keeping the withered mum in my hair nigh |
| 酒醒熏破春睡 | Sobering the sweet scent wakes me from sleep |
| 夢斷不成歸 | In my dream my homeland in memory keep |
| 人悄悄 | Silently silently I remain |
| 月依依 | Lingering the moon stays |
| 翠簾垂 | Lowly the curtain unrolled |
| 更挪殘蕊 | I crush dry petals with my finger tip |
| 更拈餘香 | To keep the sweet scent in hold |
| 更得些時 | Waiting for time to go |
May i submit my rendition below for comments, please?
【訴衷情】 李清照 (1084-1155)
夜來沈醉卸妝遲， 梅萼插殘枝。
酒醒熏破春睡， 夢斷不成歸。
人悄悄，
月依依，
翠簾垂。
更挪殘蕊，
更拈餘香，
更得些時。
Innermost Feelings Outpoured! Li Qingzhao
Heavily drunk last night I only undress, now and here.
A wilted plum blossom is still inserted in my hair.
Sobering, the flower’s aroma wakes me from my Spring slumber,
M’dream of returning to m’country lost is encumber’d.
Quietly, quietly I remain,
The moon lingers, lingers in vain.
From rolling up, the green curtains refrain.
I rub and twist the dying petals with my fingers that hold,
I crush them for their remaining sweet scent to unfold,
I, thus, just want time (howe’er little) to be controlled.
frank
line 1: the comma is misplaced; should be thus–
‘Heavily drunk last night I only undress now, and here.’