「有关历史的寓言」讀後有感而作

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

近日, 奧巴馬非常煩惱, 叙利亞問題甚囂塵上。

Assad 用上化學武器, 殺人過千, 一定要重重懲罰。炸! 奧巴馬一言既出, 四馬難追。

正是騎虎難下, 何去何從, 真是大傷腦根。想退一步, 先請事國会, 恐怕, 还是行不得也哥哥。進退兩難。G20 又一事無成。

天公可憐奧氏, 派出特使下凡, 為奧氏解災救難。

特使: Barack, 本使專治一切奇難雜症, 請盡管發問。

奧巴馬: 問題有三, 望特使多多指教。

問題一, WMD (Weapons of Mass Destruction). 有據為証, Assad 用 sarin gas 武器, 殺害國人, 大罪彌天, 應要重重懲罰, 天公地義, 但 Iraq, Afghan 以来, 美國人民早已精神疲乏, 無心執義, 此問題一。

問題二, 當總統以来, 美帝國勢力更日形衰落, 眼見他國國務蒸蒸日上, 我們堂堂頂尖大國, 还不能駕駛其他小國, 声譽一落千丈, 大江東去矣, 此問題二。

問題三, 一貫以来, 美國都是到處當「世界憲兵」, 抱打不平, 維護小部份人的權益。歷年来東征西戰, 處處用兵, 國庫已日形不支, 加上苛捐重稅, 金融与经济危机, 人民怨声載道, 已到了沸騰頂奌, 此問題三。

特使答道: 對, 全都是大問題, 而且更是互相关連。但最基本的, 还是要自我反省, 反省所犯过的錯誤, 吸取歷史經驗教訓。越南, 伊拉克, 阿富汗, 叙利亞 …………… 都是千編一律, 同一個版本。 歷史重演, 还是不斷發生, 吃到同样的苦頭。你們何時才会学乖呢!?

Who’s that?

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

PM

Multiple choice:
1. A honorary Canadian Ranger
2. A new member of the Muppets
3. Superman
4. Canadian Rapper Big Red Steve
5. Red Riding Hood
6. The Big Bad Wolf
7. Lady in Red
8. Santa Claus
9. Lady Gaga
10. Fifty Shades of Red

I have never smoked marijuana

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

Justine Trudeau is a genius. Such a smart move.

Out of the blue, on a boring hot summer day, during an interview with a newspaper, Trudeau told the reporter that he smoked marijuana about three years ago — after he had been elected as an MP — and that he had used marijuana a handful of times in his life.

Immediately this triggered a knee-jerk reaction from the PM’s office: Mr. Harper has never smoked marijuana and pointed out he has asthma precluding smoking anything. Poor old fellow, he missed all the fun of his youthful days.

And unexpectedly, Trudeau’s admission also triggered an avalanche of declaration by Canadian politicians. One by one, they come out of the closet and announced, they did smoke marijuana in their yester-years. In other words, marijuana is for the young and restless.

At last count, these included Official Opposition leader Thomas Mulcair of the New Democratic Party, Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne, Nova Scotia Premier Darrell Dexter, Prince Edward Island Robert Ghiz , Premier of Saskatchewan Brad Wall, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, Vancouver Mayor Gregor Robertson, and minister of finance Jim Flaherty.

On the other hand, most of the PM’s cronies, denied having such an adventurous experience. At most, they admitted, they are addicted to (pots) of coffee.

When you look at research done in the past, 44% of Canadian admitted they have smoke marijuana at least once before. So if you want their vote, you better come out and confess, joint by joint.

But our PM is forced to make such an uncool statement: I have never smoked marijuana. This contrasted sharply with the cool, youthful and adventurous image of Justine Trudeau, widening further their generation gap. No matter how many tunes of Beatles you can play, the harm done is irreparable.

The line of “the have and have not” (smoked marijuana) has been drawn in the sand. The generation gap optic is subtly defined.

Mao once said: The world is yours, as well as ours, but in the final analysis it is yours. You young people, vibrant, are in the bloom of life, like the morning sun at eight or nine. Their hopes on you.

Relax, have a joint, and let the game begin.

時光列車

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

隆 隆 隆
時光列車
迎面飛来
Z O O M
疾然而去
一站 又过 一站
沒能刹制
沒能回駛
車輪 不斷 滾滾向前

隆 隆 隆
時光列車

前進 前進 前進
衝过生命海
衝过時光隧道
衝向 那
莫明的永恆

多倫多的權力鬥爭 (第二回)

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

看官, 多城第二回之「你死我活」的「權力鬥爭」, 以快刀砍乱麻之勢, 速戰速决, 不出一天, 就能鳴金收兵, Council大獲全勝。

最先, 由卧底老板史丁斯(Karen Stinz)出手, 提出解散 TTC Commission, 另組一個包括有 7 councillors 和 4 市民的新 Board, 肥佬市長福特(Rob Ford)反攻, 由手下 Thompson 帶領發難, 提出要一個 11 位市民的新 Board。經过 councillors 羣儒激烈舌戰, 最後通过史丁斯的動議。

接着下来,又是一埸推選七名 councillor board members 的大混戰。經果原有的五名保福黨 (pro-Ford) councillors 全部敗北, 被踢出 board, 而史丁斯卻保持了主席之位。

這回合 Council 大獲全勝。

嘿, 看官, 慢一奌。保守黨 魁Hudak 剛在安省議会, 要求 McGuinty 推反多市 Council 决定, 改建地鉄。而肥佬市長还是手握其輿論皇牌, 1010 电台節目。不知鹿死誰手, 有待下回分解。

Robocalls Unearthed Recently

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)


1. “Hi, this is Pierre Poutine, calling from Toronto City Hall, all TTC/Subway council meetings will be postponed indefinitely. For further information, please call 1-888-123-4567.”

2. “Hello, Pierre Poutine here. I would like to inform you, the location of Election Canada Complaint Centre has been changed. Any enquiry should be re-directed to the Liberal/NDP Party instead. Thank you for your co-operation.”

3. “Attention all students, P Poutine here. On behalf of Minister Finley, our Student Employment Centre will be closed for the summer. All students should stay home this summer, and worry about your Old Age Pension. Please check the Internet, Facebook or Twitter for any job opportunities.”

4. “Attention all Canadian. I am calling on hehalf of our PM. Please be very clear, that we absolutely, definitely had no role in any of the fraudulent calls, the Liberals were behind it. Thank you.”

5. “Hello Torontonian, Rob Ford here. Let me repeat myself once again, the majority of people in the city wants subways, not streetcars. Anything else e.g. funding, is irrelevant. SOS. Just thinking ahead, to 2015”

6. “This is Election Canada. Fellow citizens, thank you for your input, so far 31,000 complaints already. Please note that we are requesting Canada to send in Election Observers to restore order.”

7. “Hello Canadians. Do you really believe these so called robocalls? This is simply a sleazy smear campaign of the opposition, nothing more than another Vikileak. Parliament will be business as usual.”

8. “Hi Poutine here. I have a message for you. Get a life, Canadians. There are more important things than robocalls. Leaf just fired Ron Wilson. That is what I called news.”

9. “Hi, I am calling from RackTen, this is a survey of the recent robocall events. Which is the most appropriate term to describe it? Dirty Tricks? Illegal? Watergate? Smear campaign? Joke? Political game? Power Struggle? Thank you for your time”

Top 10 Reasons Why the Fords Want to be Radio Talkhosts

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

1. I quit. Nobody loves me in Council. Don’t want to be mayor anymore
2. In case Torontonians revolted and kick me out
3. John Tory/Josh Matlow can do this, so can I
4. Sorry Josh, out you go
5. Seize the Propaganda machine
6. After a year of training in City Hall, ready for our own comedy show
7. Exit Strategy
8. What to call the show? The City Hall Gang Show? The Toronto Goon Show? The Sub nobody can aFFord? Gravy Train?
9. Talk, talk, talk, that’s what I do best at City Hall anyway
10. Slogan of 680News: You hear about it, it’s news; you read about it, it’s history. For sure, will beat the Star this time


Top 10 Reasons to Fire the TTC General Manager

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

1. Because I can
2. 殺鳮警猴
3. My way or the highway
4. Waste over $500,000 to dismiss him. See, I found the Gravy Train
5. Shut Up. One down, more to go
6. It’s irrelevant
7. If you are not with me, you are with child pornographers
8. With extreme harsh weather, Lastman called in the army, I called my Gang of 5
9. The only way I know – Schoolyard Bullying
10. My brother made me do it