(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

The recession is far from over. President Obama just handed the Congress a $3.83 trillion new budget, a plan that forecasts the government spending a record $1.66 trillion more than it takes in through taxes. God bless the America almighty dollar. Our pocketbooks continue to suffer.

Drastic time needs drastic measures. We have been combing through our family budget with a surgical scapel.

For the food budget, it is a multi-tasking approach. Before grocery shopping, we go through the supermarkets’ flyers for sale items and clip coupons. We changed our diet, eat more vegetables than meat, cooking in bulk and freeze them. We eat more home cooked meals than the packaged frozen food now, and eat less out in restaurants. We have our own patch of garden in the backyard and grow vegetables for own consumption (may be a pig/chicken or two if the laws allowed). We bake our own bread. For the office, we bring coffee from home, less trips to Tim Horton and Starbuck, and drink water instead of juices and pops.

For leisure and entertainment, we cut back too. Instead of going out to movie theatres, we rent movies and watch as a whole family, and play board games more frequently. Instead of buying new books, we go to the library, although the Top Ten List will take a very long time to appear on the shelves, it is worth the wait.

For vacation, we try the new “staycation” way. We take short trips around town or do own designed walking tours, exploring the different ethnic sections of town. These are quite entertaining and educational, actually.

For clothing, we no longer go for the brand names alone. Price comes first. Swap shop may be another option. Also organizations like the FreeCycle Network (http://www.freecycle.org/) are springing up everywhere and quite popular, where people recycle their used clothing to others, free.

We are re-assessing our use of the cell-phones and Blackberries, and wonder why we spent so much on such communication devices. We even consider to cancell the TV cable and newspaper for now.

We ponder joining the Compact movement (or a variation of it), a movement that started in San Francisco a few years ago. Members promised not to buy anything new (except essentials like food, medicine, consumables such as shampoo, underwear etc) for one year. (http://sfcompact.blogspot.com/)

Yes, drastic time needs drastic measure. Frugality becomes our best friend.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

Ring-ring-ring.

“Answer the phone,” My wife shouted from the bathroom.

“Let them leave a message, probably just telemarketing,” I shouted back.

Although we are listed in the “Don’t call” list, we still get these calls all the time. I tried not to talk to them at all cost.

But I am the exception.

We are a talkative nation. People carry their cell-phones everywhere, persistently chattering; on the street, on public transport, in restaurants, in theatres, at work, at home, while shopping, even in the washroom (public and private). Or people, with thumbs dancing on their Blackberry, text messaging, 140 words or less, on Twitter.

Years ago, when you saw someone mumbling or shouting to himself on the street, you tried to walk on the other side of the road, a madman, no doubt. But nowadays, if you look closely, it is only someone talking on the cell-phone.

“Honey, the on sale item sold out, you want a rain check? Or something else?”

“Hi, I found this sofa on sale, here let me send you a picture, what do you think?”

Communication of the masses. How convenient.

But research also showed, one in five car accidents are caused by drivers talking on the phone. Pedestrians killed while crossing the road talking on cell-phones.

Hence the hands-free law is in full effect now in both BC and Ontario.

But then there are still paranoia like me. I do have a cell-phone, but I kept it off all the time, and only switch it on when I want to dial out.

Ring-ring-ring.

“Hello, sorry, you get the wrong number.”

“What do you mean, dad, it’s me, your daughter.”

“Oh, I thought you are the telemarketing lady again.”

Hey, I got it. To cure our talkative habit, we should saturate all phones with telemarketing messages.

Or may be not, you will end up chattering endlessly with the telemarketing lady.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

You yearn to travel. This urge grows proportionally with your age.

You used to believe, with the advance of technology, with the Internet, you can just sit in front of the computer, surf through all these websites, and can enjoy a virtual tour of all the far away wonders of this world, without even have to leave your chair at home.

But not so at all. As you count the number of years and days remaining to be on this earth, you want the real deal, to widen your horizon and knowledge, before your cataract-induced eye-sight, osteoporotic bones or the cholesterol plaqued heart failed you, and to whatever physical limitation you are bound in this later part of life, you just want to travel, to all those exotic places; you took trips and cruises far and near, just to keep yourself busy and the travel agencies wealthy.

You become the accidental traveller.

When travelled by air, as a young man, you always asked for a window seat, to be able to look out of the window, even if you could only see the white clouds. When you were married and have family of your own, you always ended with the middle seat, with wife on one side and kids on the other. But when the kids all grown up, you remained in the middle seat. Who wanted a stranger to sit between you, husband and wife. As you grew older, you tried to claim the aisle seat, more convenient to get up quickly for the washroom. But nowadays, you ended with two aisle seats, across from each other, as wife favours the aisle seat too.

Travel by car is another story. When kids were small. Before each trip, you always asked, “have everyone gone to the bathroom”? And during the summer holidays while on the road, you frequently heard, “dad, I have to go”, and you constantly looked out for an exit with a restaurant or gas station. But now it is wife who reminded you, “did you go to the bathroom”, before any trip. Otherwise you will ended up stopping on the side of the highway, for a quick relief.

So you become the accidental traveller, or is it the accident-prone traveller?

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

Yes Men News — Inspired by the  recall action of Toyota, Canadian PM is recalling parliament. He said the defective problems that led to the necessity of prorogation (a sticky pedal that caused parliament to accelerate and spin out of control) are identified, new designs have been made and he is ready to fix the problems.

Due to the unexpected Perogation Uprising, that spread from coast to coast, across Canada, with thousands of apathetic citizens took to the streets, and the elite opposition parties chattered for propositions to curb the prime minister’s power to suspend and prorogue future Parliament. His party’s rating is dropping. Mr. Harper finally is enlightened.

Extreme time called for extreme makeover.

He sent his ministers travelled all over the country, to photo-op sessions, and to look busy, even to endure with a pie in the face.

He stacked the Senate with Conservative-friendly folks.

In Davos Switzerland, he called on world leaders to embrace an “enlightened sovereignty” that puts the global good ahead of each country’s immediate self-interest. Armed with this new slogan and message (whatever it means), suddenly he acquired a new image, an image that is worthy of a worldly statesman. This time around he won’t be going to the washroom and miss the world leaders group photo-op in Davo.

An election is in the air, don’t you think so?

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

 Steve Fonyo, Jr., is a Canadian who lost his left leg to cancer at age 12. He ran across Canada, from coast to coast, in marathon entitled the “Journey for Lives” to raise funds for cancer research. In doing so, he followed in the footsteps of Terry Fox; but unlike Fox, who had to abandon the Marathon of Hope when his cancer returned, Fonyo completed the coast-to-coast marathon and also completed a marathon across the United Kingdom. He raised 14 millions for cancer research. He received the Order of Canada. He accomplished all these before age 20. But unfortunately for Fonyo, he was on skid row in later life. He got in trouble with the law, convicted several times with drug use, drunk driving, forgery and assult. He suffered from depression. He is now in jail. His Order of Canada was taken away from him. It is a sad tale.

Clara Hughes is a Canadian cyclist and speed skater, and has won multiple Olympic medals in both sports. That makes her one of the few athletes to medal at both the Summer and Winter Games of the Olympics. She is a humanitarian and involved with Right To Play, an athlete-driven international humanitarian organization that uses sports to encourage the development of youth in disadvantaged areas. She is chosen as the Canadian flag bearer in this year’s Winter Olympic. But she was not always a role model. She had her tough time. Her downward spiral started when her parents split up when she was 9. She drank heavy and used drugs at a young age. She was a trouble child, until one day, when she was 16, she saw the Calgary Winter Olympic on TV and was impressed by the Canadian speed skater Boucher. She declared: “That’s what I want to be”. And she never looked back. She met a few excellent coaches and with endurance, dedication and perseverence, she stands proud today for her accomplishments.

Some observations: First half of your life is not as memorable as your second half. It’s your later life that counts. Want to be bad, do it early, before you become successful. Late bloomer is definitely better than early achiever. Somehow people appreciate you better as a rogue who turned gold, not vice versa.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

As soon as Steve Jobs announced the name of the Apple new tablet, the iPad is drawing sneers and jeers from bloggers, Twitters everywhere, especially women.

The name already existed, since a sketch from Mad TV in 2007.

See it for yourself. 

***  Warning: This video may contain mature adult content and vulgar language, viewer discretion and parental guidance are advised !  ( For the younger WYKAAO members )

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

Cruise USA is changing course.

President Barack Obama in Wednesday night’s State of the Union address, placed the plight of the jobless foremost among a sweeping new set of economic priorities to pull the country out of recession.

For those lucky ones who still have a job, here are some useful advice.

You have to be a changed man/woman nowadays.

Set your alarm clock an hour earlier than usual. You have to get into the office before your boss. And make sure you leave everyday after her/him.

Don’t attract attention, one way or the other, good or bad. Otherwise the chopping axe may fall on you instead. No more water cooler gossips, nor sided with anyone in the office politics. The casualty may again be you.

Do your work efficiently and quickly, at least with some results to show.

Be polite to everybody, but keep at a distance, and beware of back stabbing. No office romance please.

Take pay cut or hours cut gracefully, accept it readily and with a smile, as if you mean it. Sulk only at home.

Change your work habit. Work like a horse, at all hours, with no complaints, no coffee breaks. Send your boss update emails at night from home, the later (say 1 am) the better.

Submerge yourself. Work, work, work and then more work (or at least look busy).

Because, at the end of the day, all work and no play do make your boss a happy boy or girl.

Stay Alert, Stay Alive.

Yes, in such uncertain time, we have no choice.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

What a relief, our virile Tiger is found, alive and well, sort of.

We have been looking for the crouching Tiger for the past month. Ever since he wrapped his SUV around a tree in front of his mansion, rumoured trouble with his wife, he has mysteriously disappeared under the watchful eyes of the army of paparazzi, stationed outside his residence. And then his mistresses, one by one (last count, 19), stepped forward and claimed their piece of fame for monetary gain. But where is Tiger, who simply vanished, suddenly and completely, without a trace, and transformed into a hidden dragon.

We kept searching the Internet for any bitsy of news. But Google was not co-operating.

Google, you are supposed to be the great detective (tool) of our generation, the search engine everybody goes to, that can spit out massively tons of info instantly and indiscrimately. But what is going on? News blackout? We cannot find any new info using all your fancy tools. You kept spitting out old news. We even have to rely on hackers, to go through your whole databases, your gmails data, the bloggers’ sites, to no avail. Where are you hiding all these valuable info? You are supposed to hog all the info directly from the Information Highway, never paid for them anyway, and stored every byte in your humongous numbers of PCs. Where are those Google street-view cars, supposed to be roaming the cities of this planet, snapping up pictures of our ordinary citizens, better than those grannies of the Neighourhood Watch teams. You are supposed to collect all those satellite images, to scan all books from libraries………. But now are you hogging and controlling all these info, censoring, sanitizing and blocking them and only release or dose out those you deemed harmless, to us netizens? This is Information Imperialism, really.

But thankfully National Enquirer came to the rescue. They first broke the news, Tiger is crouching low in Mississippi, licking his wounds in a sex-rehab center. From the snapshot circulating, we can even deduce Tiger’s treatment method, replacing sex addiction with another addiction, the good old stimulant — coffee. Just Look at the size of the Starbuck in his hand.

Farewell Google, we need you no more.

Now onto our next project: Brangelina Splitville. National Enquirer, here we come.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

Shame-wow is the revolutionary super-absorbent sucker towel used by thousands of CEO and top salary executives of the big coporation of our civilized world today. This amazing shameless product has worked its way into the culture of Wall Street and beyond. Do you find monetary crisis all over your company from mismanagement you have previously inflicted, while running your corporation? Have you always want to have the right tools to get you out of this mess?  How about companies with tons of angry shareholders, shouting at your door? Seniors lost all their retirement savings. Nowadays you’re almost bound to find discontent oozing from all levels, all around you. Further, your marvelous re-structuring plans don’t work either. You are ready to file for chapter 11/bankruptcy protection. Well, mistakes tend to be made all the time, we are human after all.

Cleaning up can become a drag, especially when you don’t have the right equipment. May be it is time to retreat. Today it’s your lucky day, you have this great Shame-wow tool (bonuses by any other name) at your disposal. Very few products have this special offer for getting you this win-win formula. If your company prospered, good, you get all the credit, plus a big fat bonus, but if your company failed and was bailed out by the government, with taxpayers money, you can still get a fat bonus this year, further, if you are forced to quit, or even fired, you will still get a big fat bonus (and can also sue the company for further monetary gain). That’s why you need this new Shame-wow monetary Absorbent Tool of greed, no matter what situation your company got into. This new product was designed to make cleaning up with monetary drainage (into your pocket) much more efficient for you to do and is priced right when you are planning for a quick retreat.

News Flash — Goldman Sachs awarded staff a near record $20 billion in 2009. Firms making losses for shareholders, such as Citigroup and Bank of America, are still paying hefty bonuses.

News Flash — JPMorgan Chase & Co. announced a record $9.3 billion payday for its investment-banking employees.

News Flash — The form of the pay is changing. Instead of cash, bonuses will be paid mostly in stock that can’t be redeemed for years. But the numbers are still staggering. Together, the six biggest U.S. banks are on pace to pay $150 billion in total compensation for 2009.

The Greedy Bunch is already hard at work, again. Shame-Wow.

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

“In a display that was anything but apathetic, thousands of Canadians of varying political stripes clogged city streets across Canada demanding Prime Minister Stephen Harper reopen Parliament and get back to work.” (Ciara Byrne — The Canadian Press )

Hey, people, listen, we are barking up the wrong tree.

As his Immigration minister said yesterday, it’s a lot easier for the government to operate without Parliament in session.

That’s exactly what my mother said when we were small, “I got a lot more done when you kids not home”.

Suddenly it dawned on me. Our Prime Minister is running the country like a family, one big if not always happy family. He is head of the household. How dare us kids (i.e. Canadian and through our representative MPs) want to talk back, and to question his authority, and his actions. He is the all powerful, know all, and arrogant father, doing everything he can just for the goodness of this family. We kids are really naughty, are trouble makers, and deserve to be punished, and have to be sent to our rooms, without dinner, and be grounded (just like sending his MPs packing, go back to their constituencies and not to return until things calm down).

You said, where is democracy. Big word. Of course there is democracy within the family. But there are definitely ground rules too. As long as we kids are not questioning the actions or behaviour of our elders (what do we kids know anyway), or talk back or voice our own opinion, or to bother him when he is pre-occupied, we are allowed to think whatever we want (and may be a protest or two). Isn’t that democratic enough, otherwise its just asking for trouble, and we will end up as a family of rebellious hoodlums.

People, calm down. Our Big Daddy knows best. If we behave, we may even get to taste a perogie (or is it prorogue?) Whatever, of course we don’t care, right?