The Kings’ Speeches

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

King Gadhafi

“Muammar Gaddafi is the leader of the revolution, I am not a president to step down … I have nowhere to resign from.”

“I have not yet ordered the use of force, not yet ordered one bullet to be fired … when I do, everything will burn.”

“Al Qaeda’s cells attacked security forces and took over their weapons,” he said, adding: “How did that all begin? Small, sleeper al Qaeda cells.”

“Come out of your homes, those who love Muammar Gaddafi. Women, men, girls, boys, those who side with Muammar Gaddafi and the revolution.… As from tomorrow, no, as from tonight, actually, people in Libyan cities and towns … chase [the protesters], arrest them, hand them over to the security [forces].”

“No sound person has taken part in these actions, they are all children.… Take your children back. They are drugging your children. They are making your children drunk and they’re sending them to hell. Your children will die.”

“Their ages are 17. They give them pills at night, they put hallucinatory pills in their drinks, their milk, their coffee, their Nescafe.”

“I am like the Queen of England.”

“I am much bigger than any rank, for those who are talking about rank, I am a fighter.”

King Charlie

“I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordnance to the ground.”

“I’m gonna hang on to them, and they’re going to fuel my attack. And they’re going to fuel the battle cry of my deadly and dangerous and secret and silent soldiers. Because they’re all around you.”

In his interviews with ABC’s Good Morning America and NBC’s Today show, he boasted about his “epic” partying, said he’s fuelled by “violent hatred” of his bosses, claimed to have kicked drugs at home in his “Sober Valley Lodge” and demanded $3 million an episode to return to work.

“What’s not to love?” he said on ABC. “Especially when you see how I party. It was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards just look like droopy-eyed armless children.”

“I’m supposed to be out there all humble and asking for my job,” Sheen said during an interview at his home with Mike Walters and streamed live Monday on “No, I don’t do that. I don’t understand what I did wrong except live a life that everyone is jealous of.”

‘I’m tired of pretending I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.’

Sheen said that he’s bored now with cocaine. But he said he “exposed people to magic” when they partied with him and that he loved doing drugs.

“I am on a drug,” Sheen said. “It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

King Rob Ford

“Stop the gravy train.”

“Change starts at the top,” Ford told reporters Monday. “I’m asking for all the citizens that sat on the board to resign immediately. The seven civilians should do the right thing and tender their resignation.”

“I can only ask [them to resign]; I can’t force them. … I have to get new people in there, and I’m going through council,” he said, adding that he’s optimistic he’d succeed. “I can’t see any councillor defending these expenditures. It’s absolutely ridiculous.”

The next day, TCHC citizen board members resign en masse.

Seeking government money, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford said he’s “absolutely” ready to play hardball with a provincial government reluctant to agree to his request for $150-million this year. And in a talk radio interview Wednesday morning he threatened to ensure the Liberals don’t get back into office at Queen’s Park following this fall’s election.

“I haven’t talked to [Premier Dalton McGuinty] face to face about that request of $150-million. And if he says ‘No,’ obviously there’s a provincial election coming up,” Mr. Ford told Newstalk1010. “I want to work with him, not against him. But obviously if he’s not helping out the city, I’m going to have no choice but to work against him. I don’t want to do that.”

“If I need help from the province then I’ll ask for their help. And if they choose not to help us, then I have no other choice but to get out, as I call it, ‘Ford Nation’ and make sure they’re not re-elected in the next election.”

King Stephen

“Attack! ”

“Michael Ignatieff: He didn’t come back for you.”

“Good dog.”

“Not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, …………………”


“The King has spoken, now you can all leave!”

[News Brief] It happened recently, in an event hosted by the Indian High Commission, to launch “The Year of India in Canada.”

Stephen Harper and Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff were both there to give speeches.

Harper delivered a short address, but before Ignatieff got his turn at the podium, a P-M-O staffer hustled all the attending reporters and camera crews out of the building.

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