(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)
1. We created UN. We are a founding member/country of UN (1 of 77)
2. Alphabetically Canada is ahead of the other two contestants, Germany and Portugal
3. Canada is a multicultural society, just like the UN. We know how to handle problems — divide and conquer. (Or branded the opposition together as a coalition, like the Gang of Four)
4. We spend $5 billion a year on aid, making us a major donor (in spite of our cutting back and ever shrinking contributions). We have spearheaded UN efforts to combat AIDS and other diseases, forgiven debt and raised money to save mothers and children (maternal health does not include abortion; we are already saving the mothers and children).
5. Our PM needs excuses to make his rare appearances in UN, he missed too many photo-ops before, skipping to the wc
6. What other country has money to burn, and can throw away $1.2 billion in one weekend, to hold the G8/G20 meetings. Also look at the army of riot police force we assembled during the G20. We are definitely qualified for the security part of the Security Council
7. Our PM always follow the call of our leader, our American Idol — W, to go into wars in Iraq, Afghan, to name a few; to be Protector of the Universe. We need to justify the cost of those jet fighters.
8. We came out of this recession without a scratch, more or less. We are the financial and banking model of the world; we even managed to turn a surplus to a 50 billion budget deficit in a blink of the eyes
9. We practice economic restraint, and will cut off all monetary stimulant programs, all social assistances and lower corporate taxes. We can bring such experience to the Security Council.
10. We are planning to draft Rob Ford for PM