Confession of a Robfordholic

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

May the Force be with You, Ford Nation.

Our Beloved Great Leader, Mayor Rob Ford is taking a leave of absence from Toronto City Hall, and went into hiding, in Chicago, hopefully seeking rehab treatment for his alcohol and drug addiction problems.

Some critic assumed Rob Ford is putting on a spin here, disappear for a month, and then return a new man, a so called “born again Christian”, to proclaim his complete cure, and to continue his mayoral campaign.

Some accused him of trying to avoid answering questions regarding the newly surfaced crack video tape and his sexist, vulgar audio tape, by running away.

Some thought his taking leave of absence to seek help is a good first step, but others think this is too little too late, and he should go all the way and resign.

Others just simply wish him well.

But for us Fordies, we are left hanging.

Now I, too, have to attend rehab and RFA (Rob Ford Anonymous) meetings, to deprogram me from my “Robfordholicism”.

Hi, my name is TRCG, and I am a Fordie. I am addicted to Rob Ford. Just mention of his name made me flutter, rise of temperature with sweat and anticipation. I felt anxious, and agitated. At the same time, I also felt ashamed, depressed, hopeless and powerless.

I am confused.

I associated with him as my idol, one who can do things that I can never do. He can proclaim he is not perfect and go on lying to his teeth, with no change of facial expression or colour.

He doesn’t need to be on any diet. Can’t lose any weight, doesn’t matter, and just let it go.

He can bully anyone, including the Chief of Police. He can pee in the park. He can buy drugs and beat up his best friend. And best of all, he can get away with these.

He is world famous / notorious. Jimmy Kimmel is his buddy. Bill Clinton talked about him. His every move is reported in the news, the world over.

And according to his calculations, he saved us a billion bucks!

He is my idol.

But now he is gone. My life felt empty and meaningless.

But, have no fear, the provincial election is on.

TimmyH, here I come.

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