山埃貼士 —- 「自我心肺複甦急救法」

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

相信有很多人,也曾收過以下,載寄又再載寄,各种形式,但內容相同的电郵。

人工呼吸/心臓急救 (CardiacPulmonary Resuscitation CPR), 是當病人心臓突然停止跳動,停止呼吸, 用來搶救的方法。護理人員施行口对口人工呼吸, 並不停地壓下胸口骨,暮使人工地把血液擠出心臓,促進血液循環, 至心臓回復跳動。

但如果心臓病發時,只有病人自己一個人,又怎办呢? 有閒人突發奇想, 以為咳嗽可以相等壓胸骨,深呼吸相等人工呼吸, 推出一套「自我心肺複甦急救法」, 成為JUNK MAIL电郵的表表者。

「自我心肺複甦急救法」認為,心臓病發,病人就要不停咳嗽,用力的咳;並在每次咳嗽前,都要先深深吸一大口氣,然後,用力地、深深地、長長地、不停地咳。每間隔大約兩秒鐘,要做一次吸,一直要做到救護車趕到時,或者已經感到,恢復正常,才能休息。

其實這是侏大毒草。人工呼吸/心臓急救的原因,就是病人停止了呼吸,心臓停止了跳動, 才要施行, 而且病人早己不醒人事, 更不会自我施救。

更嚴重者, 心臓病發, 但心臓還在跳動, 就更不需要 CPR, 而是要立刻打911,召救傷車救援。這是危在旦夕, 寸秒必爭的時刻, 而教人花時在無謂的行動上,那就罪大悪極了。


八胞胎宝宝

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)


有人認为,美國有個 Octomom,我們也来八個胞胎宝宝,回以顔色,真利害。

其实,這並非是「人有我有」, 「不甘後人」的回應, 又奌只是趣緻娃娃新聞咁簡單。

在美國, Octomom 剛產下那堆活宝,就有人擔心, 養育嬰孩, 通過社会福利補助, 会壓在納稅人頭上。但在中國, 全部經費, 由试管婴儿手術的医生費, 到雇佣11个保姆, 每月开销近10万 的銷費,全部由富商父母付責,不用政府擔心。生在暴發户人家, 八宝宝. 真是天之驕子。

在美國, Octomom 和多仔婆 Kate Gosselin, 早已成為知名度極高的風頭人物, Kate 更有自己的电視節目,名利双收。但在中國, 八胎宝宝的媽媽, 早已謝絶探訪, 避風頭躲起来了。這是中國人之風度, 还是法律逃避?

在美國, Octomom 的人工授孕医生, 被停牌; 是因為替 Octomom 植入太多的受精卵。但在中國, 就沒有問題, 到香港找医師可也。

在外國, 什么「茉莉花之春」, 「佔據華爾街」運动, 鬧釀釀的, 正是潮流所趨,人心所向。在中國, 當然不能發起運动, 但反潮流精神仍在, 而且金錢萬能, 政府推行一仔政策, 富户硬要推行多仔政策。換個形式反佢一反, 花奌錢,又算什么呢。


金陵十三釵

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

[綜合報導]

《金陵十三釵》(The Flowers of War),是今年度(2011)中國金牌導演張藝謀的大型戰爭詩史電影,是根据女作家嚴歌苓的同名小说改编。影片筹备4年,投资6億元人民幣,是中国影史以来投资制作最大的一次。而且更是首度與荷理活携手合作,邀请名演員”克里斯蒂安•贝尔(Christian Bale)”加盟,并啟用13位全新的中国女演员。

故事講述了1937年中国南京的惨痛的歷史。故事通過一教堂,一个假冒神职人员的流浪客、一群躲在教堂里的教会女学生、13个逃避战火的風塵女子以及殊死抵抗的军人和傷兵,共同面对南京大屠殺這恐佈人間悲劇。

影片已于2011年12月15日全中国上映,也同期開始在美國上映。该片代表中国参加第84届奥斯卡最佳外语片的角逐,并已入围第69届金球奖最佳外语片提名。中国希望能通過這電影,進軍荷理活。

影片還未上映,就招致同濟大學知名教授朱大可撰文指出,《金陵十三釵》靠“情色+暴力+民族苦難题材+爱国主义”来博取观眾眼球,進而谋取商业利益,是可耻的行为。

朱教授継續写道:“把大屠杀的教堂变成情场,把民族创伤记憶变成床上记憶,把政治叙事变成身体叙事,把血色战争变成桃色新闻,把重大苦难题材变成重要牟利工具,这种大义凛然的情色爱国主义,难道不是一种价值取向的严重失误?”

但説實話,觀眾如果是為要看“情色”镜头而来,就會大失所望了。张艺谋表示,片中“十三钗”更衣和男女主角最后的缠绵不是“激情戏”,而是角色的情感的升华和剧情推动的需要。

编剧魏君子更認為,“无论在故事情節还是在角色把握上,《十三钗》带给观眾的都是正面能量。影片中的女学生代表受难的一方,十三个风塵女子最后捨生取义;影片中的假神父最初只是一个流浪客,但经过战争的洗礼,最后完成了向英雄的转变。”

编剧之一刘恒说,《金陵十三钗》是“用人类之善向人类之恶宣战”,观眾会被影片感动是因为“每个人的内心都有一个善良的角落和土地,一旦种子播种下去就会开花结果。

真是仁者見仁,智者見智。但最後,最重要的,還得由觀眾自已来作評論。

但請永遠謹記着,那段悲憤沈痛的中国血淚史。

讓我們經常都在警剔,防止日本軍國主義的重現,歷史的重演。

Top 10 Reasons Canada opting out of Kyoto

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

1. Climate change already happening. Too late to intervene. Might as well let our big businesses make some money before the end.

2. Attention all polluters, we are in this together, obviously, we share equal responsibility. Equal partnership. Or opt out.

3. Peter said, Steve told me to do it.

4. Imagine, no more snow, a second spring for us Canadians.

5. We have more pressing issues to attend to, for example, Attawapiskat.

6. No UN Security Council seat, no Kyoto.

7. We are number 1, the first nation to withdraw from Kyoto.

8. What climate changes, all these flooding, drought, forest fire, snow storms, typhoons, or even, earthquake, tsunami, all natural phenomena. God’s design.

9. It’s a global political con game.

10. We are not the biggest polluter, look, all merchandise are made in China.


Mayor Ford, Our Apology

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

On behalf of all Torontonians, we apologize.

We are deeply sorry for voting for you, to burden you with such difficult tasks that come with the mayor’s chair. Ever since, we have been wondering, are we really up to the challenge, to watch you closely, and to challenge you every step of your move? Especially when you try to keep us in the dark, at all cost.

We apologize that we misunderstood your warnings this past summer, for taking your words at face value, for thinking that we are really in a financial strait, of a horrendous sum of $774 million. But as a matter of fact, you actually just want to make a point, to create a pre-text of how difficult a time we are in, and to prepare and scare us to accept whatever cuts and privatizations and other surprises you have for us. Thank you for your hard sell, you almost give us a heart attack though.

We apologize for not realizing that you actually run city hall as a business, watching only the bottom line. You come in waving a blade, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. You yelled, cut libraries and their hours, cut arenas, pools, zoos and museums programs, cut daycare and kids’ nutrition programs, lay off city staff ……. the list goes on and on. And in the mean time, you also want to sell, sell, sell; sell off subsidize housing, contract out city services, turn lakefront prime land into Ferris Wheels amusement park and build higher condos. All in the name of turning a profit on the balance sheet; as for Torontonians, let them eat cakes (or food from the garbage dumps, whatever).

We apologize that we question you why with a surplus of $139 millions, you don’t use that to ease our pain, to lower our budget deficit, but to slash it away into some kind of a rainy day fund; but to induce more pain in us Torontonians by increasing taxes, TTC fare and cut more programs and more workers? Please enlighten us.

We apologize for not seeing your far-sightedness. You are already looking ahead to your next election, I presume? You put the surplus money into a slush fund, so that for the next three years, even if you screw up more, and dig yourself deeper into a hole, you can still have money to throw around, to get ready for the next election. What a visionary.

We apologize that we mocked you when you called 911 when a scary looking reporter arrived early one morning at your front steps (You must have thought her from The Star). Look at our defense minister, who called in the army helicopter when he was running a tight schedule, and was late for a function. When you are in government, by hook or by crook, you need all the help you can get. You are the boss, isn’t it!?

We apologize for not noticing, that you are just showing us “Banning Bullies from schools” won’t work. You are re-creating a schoolyard environment in our city hall. With you, bossy twinFords, and your faithful gang, as the notorious bullies, you are showing us that, if we simply avoid the bullying issue by banning them now from schools, then later in life, in our own workplace, when we meet real bullies like you and your gang, we will lack the skill to handle them. That’s why twinFord is promoting of bringing the UFC community to our schools. Fight violence with violence. Cool.

Now we fully understand, you are the bad Santa, telling us, we are bad boys and girls, have been behaving badly, and are now being punished for voting for you, for putting you in an awkward position, in the mayor office. Please forgive us, Santa. Aren’t we suffer enough already!

Is there a recall program?

The Top 10 Extreme Shoppers

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

1. The Coin Counter
(The motto: Every cent counts)

Admit it; we all have done this before. Every time you gave the cashier some dollar bills, she gave you back a whole bunch of coins. Over time, your pocket got heavier and heavier, until one day you decided at the checkout counter. “Look, I can give you some coins.”

You emptied your pocket and started counting. You gave your next fellow shopper an apologetic smile, but kept counting. After a long struggle, you handed the cashier a handful of heavy coins, and then it was her turn to count, to verify. In the mean time, everyone was waiting patiently, didn’t even utter a single word of complaint.

You looked; the lady next in line was already searching for her coins.

2. A Shopaholic
(The motto: Live to shop and shop to live)

You spend money even when you don’t have any. You celebrate by spending even before you get the actual pay raise. You go to the supermarket to pick up a carton of milk, and end up with a full cartload of grocery. You cannot go through a lunch hour without buying something (anything!). Your wardrobe is full of unworn clothes, some still with the price tags attached. Your kitchen is cluttered with gadgets you can’t name. You go shopping when you felt depressed, and felt more depressed afterwards. You feel nervous, naked and lost without your credit cards.

You are a Shopaholic.

3. The Door Crasher
(The motto: Early bird catches the worm)

You are a real bargain hunter. Whenever there is a Super Sale, you are there, in the lineup, early. You like the crowds, the anticipated excitement, the long lineup and the screaming kids. You made plans days ahead. You printed out the items you want and their price list, along with a game plan to ensure a successful shopping experience. You even mapped out the shortest war path to reach the various target items in the store. The evening before, you rushed down to the store, with your lawn chair, sleeping bag, iPhone, iPod, iPad, snacks and bottles of water. No matter how early you came, there were always 50 people before you. You set up camp and wait. When 5 am finally arrived, the entire plaza was full of people. As the doors finally opened, the mad rush began. You rushed to your intended station, Target No. 1, and grabbed whatever you could get your hands on; then onto Target No. 2, and on and on, until your Mission Impossible was accomplished.

4. The Detailer
(The motto: Mirror mirror on the wall, which is the cheapest of them all)

You woke up early in the morning. With cup of coffee in hand, you headed to the front door, and picked up your newspaper. Back at the kitchen table, you sat down and turn to the advertisement pages; not the front page, not the sports, and definitely not the entertainment section. You picked up your marker, and started circling the items in the ads that caught your fancy. “a hard drive for 59.99”, “bathroom tissue, 24 rolls for only 3.99, wow”, “chicken wings, 1.99 per lb”……… You scanned thoroughly at all the ads, feared that you might miss a bargain.

Next, you planned out the optimum routes to reach all the stores, which took another hour.

Finally you called your wife, “Honey, it’s time to go hunting”.

5. The Professional
(The motto: The Artful Negotiator)

In many countries, bargain hunting is an art. You stopped and looked at some merchandise, the shopkeeper would suddenly appear from nowhere, right away started listing the qualities of his ware.

You cut to the core, “How much!”

“10 bucks.”

“Too much, 3 bucks.”

“Oh, no, too low, can’t survive. How about 8 bucks.”

You started to leave. “All right, final price 7.00.”

You kept walking, shaking your head.

“OK, ok, 6.50”

You stopped. He smiled. You smiled.

Another transaction completed.

6. The Waste to Save Bargain Hunter
(The Motto: Name of the game is to save, save, save)

Your friend tweeted you, excellent news, there was this new gas station, in its competitive mode, just lowered its gas price. But there was a catch; it’s located across town, in the west end. Didn’t matter, you got into your car and drove all the way, across town, and joined the long lineup, just to fill up a tank of cheap gas. You were very happy. The next day, you bragged to your fellow workers, how much you have saved on gas.

For the same reason, you bought that cell-phone, the one that didn’t cost you a cent, when you signed for the 3 years contract. Or the time you paid half price for the cruise, instead you have to pay full price for all the land tours. Or the time you bought the TV in Buffalo …………

7. The Extreme Couponer
(The Motto: Take a rain cheque)

You heard about the extreme couponer, who pushed her shopping cart to the checkout counter, loaded with $600 worth of items and walked out spending less than $20 ? You exclaimed with admiration.

But wait till you are in the supermarket, standing in line, behind such a hero, who pulled out a thick pile of coupons, handed to the cashier, trying to match and verified coupons to product, and then punched in the deductions, item after item?

An extreme couponer doesn’t shop like most people, who run into the store each week, stock up for meals and repeat the process.

An extreme couponer still makes regular visits to the store for bread and milk, but once a month she does a major supply run, with her purchases based on coupons and the sales offered.

Back at home, the supply bought may not be used immediately, but be stockpiled on shelves and consume at a later date.

This works well in theory. In reality, you use coupons when the time is right. You wait until there is a great sale and use your coupons on items you need that week. Often times you will only get a handful of deals each week, the rest you pay regular. This is how it actually works. Don’t expect to go to the store every week and buy $600 worth of groceries for $20. It’s not gonna happen.

8. The Ethic Shopper

(The Motto : What’s your carbon credentials ? )

Nowadays you begin to think a lot more about the origin of the food going into your grocery cart. Worry about the environmental impact of shipping food hundreds of miles, the carbon footprint, plus the dwindling fate of local farmers – and obsess with the idea of eating really good food – these extreme eaters try to only buy food that is grown within a 100-mile radius of their own home. You go on the 100 miles diet.

You drink coffee out of a reusable mug, abstain from meat and mostly bought secondhand clothes and toys to reduce the carbon footprint. You favor anything that is organic and even keep a garden and grow your own vegetable. Your family use only environmentally friendly cleaning products. You shop with your own cloth shopping bags.

You are the dedicated eco-shopper.

9. Ms Indecisive

(The motto: To have or not to have, that is the question)

You enjoy shopping.

You have your eyes on a dress (or maybe a pair of shoes, or a purse). You tried it on, look at it this way and that, in the mirror, then agonizing over whether or not you should buy it. You kept postponing the decision, but kept coming back to the store everyday to look at the merchandise.

All the sale ladies know you, if not by first name, at least by face.

Finally one day you made the big plunge and made the purchase. You brought it home, put it on in front of the mirror. You kept thinking, did I make the right decision?

After many agonizing days and sleepless nights, you returned the merchandise to the store.

10. The Pepper sprayer
(The Motto: The New Amazing Race)

There is a new game in town.

Hey, wait. Don’t rush down to Wal-Mart , not yet. It is not exactly an X-Box or Game Boy. Call it a reality game.

It is an ingenious concept of our time; created out of desperation to save the world; to revive the economy. Forget about Wall Street greed, forget about the Euro crisis; just camp out, “Occupy Wal-Mart”, on Black Friday, on the night before, and from now on, Boxing Day, or any Big Sale Day. Then rampaged through the stores, with pepper spray in hand, try to keep eager fellow shoppers from grabbing merchandises that you want. This is competitive shopping to the extreme, creating an atmosphere of high customer demand; that will keep people running and screaming, “What the heck. Hey, I want that too”.

Demand and supply, capitalism is saved.

Competitive Shoppers, pick up your Pepper Spray. Let the game begin.



移民拉雜談

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)


從留學到學留, 申請移民, 在此落地生根, 這已是四十年前的事矣。

加拿大, 是個進步國家, 是移民嚮往的新樂土。一貫以来, 加國推行多元文化; 各少數民族, 都能保有自己的文化習俗, 也能融洽相處, 不似美國的「大熔爐」(Melting Pot) 社會, 要適應, 就得被同化, 才能納入其主流。

但最近, 我們不時聽到有関加國移民的報導, 響起了移民政策將有所改變的警鐘。

上周公民移民部長肯尼, 凍結了申請父母移民加拿大的權利, 要在兩年內再推行新的法例。他的理由就是, 接受父母移民, 這計劃太昂貴, 不能長久施行。言下之意, 就是這法例花費立税人太多的錢, 不合化算。請問, 在企業貪婪, 貧富不均的今天, 難道家庭團聚, 共享天倫, 這社會價值觀, 還是要用金錢利弊来衡量? 這又是對加拿大政府的一大諷刺。

有一位阿富汗的年青人, 當了數年翻譯, 在這埸阿富汗戰爭中, 出生入死, 為加拿大軍隊立下汗馬之勞, 但卻被拒絕, 其移居加拿大的申請。其理由是, 因為這年青人, 接受過多倫多星報記者訪問, 大事報導其申請, 這顯示他在阿富汗, 是沒有自身危險的。言下之意, 以輿論来阻礙政府運作, 真是死有餘枯的。這種「打完齋就唔要和尚」的移民政策, 真是羞家, 令人髮指。

最近, 又有一個硏究報告, 認為接納加拿大的價值觀, 為移民的先决條件。這類價值觀, 包括了男女平等; 各種族和平共處; 加拿大法律, 要凌駕在其他民族宗教傳統之上; 移民要熟識加拿大文化與歷史; 要教養子女為加拿大人等等。當然各民族也應能保存其文化, 價值觀, 但是一定要基礎在這裡的法律上, 不然發展至名譽謀殺, 那就太極端了。


Driving/Cycling Dangerously in Toronto

It is quite an eye-opening experience to drive downtown in Toronto.

Scary, actually. To both drivers and cyclists alike.

We have not been to the downtown Chinatown for a long while. The other day, have to attend a banquet, we drove downtown. On Spadina, we were surprised and intimidated by the added narrow bicycle lane, to the right of us, next to the curb. With the streetcar lane on the left and the bicycle lane on the right, plus the overflow of pedestrians, we have to drive and proceed with extra caution.

A cyclist could suddenly appear on your passenger-side window. What to do? Hold on to the steering wheel tight, with palm sweating, trying to keep the car to go straight, and to inch forward slowly, hoping not to sway any closer to the cyclist. Decision, decision. Should I drive faster and overtake the cyclist, or just go slowly to follow and keep an eye on him? May be I should just change to the outside lane to avoid him completely? Think, quickly, and keep driving.

It was worse when I have to make a right turn, onto a side street. I have to signal, cross over the bicycle lane and got into the right turning lane. I kept looking at the rear mirror, kept looking over my shoulder, checking my blind spot. It was dark outside; I could not see any cyclist behind me, but still not a hundred percent sure. May be he was wearing dark clothing. I really not want to hit someone. But should I turn now? I hesitated for a moment, slowing down. Decision, decision. Cars behind me began to horn. Oh, well, made the plunge and took my chance, I finally cross-over the bicycle lane. Thank goodness, no crushing sound. Relax now.

For a cyclist, it is just as dangerous.

The bicycle lane was quite narrow, to begin with. It’s difficult to stay within the marked lane. With cars zooming by, next to you, almost shoulder to shoulder (or shoulder to car-doors, to be exact), and with an occasional pedestrian suddenly stepped onto the road, it was stressful and difficult to keep cycling in a straight line. When cars, and especially large trucks, making a right turn, the drivers were concentrating on turning their steering wheel and the angle of turning; they did not usually see you there. Last week, a young mother was killed under the wheels of a truck just like that.

Cycling is a mean of transportation, from Point A to Point B. It is convenient, eco-friendly (no pollution) and affordable. It should be encouraged and promoted. But the road condition now is screaming of danger, a road kill, to everyone on the road, cyclists and drivers alike.

We should take action now to improve our roads cycling safety condition, immediately, otherwise accidents will keep on happening, over and over again, everyday.