Why Is Harper Screening His Rally Attendees

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

1. Can’t satisfy all. People complained when we did not screen the ex-PMO staffer, now people complained when we do screen

2. This is a staffer problem, not my problem, I only work here, I am the PM

3. I have called in the RCMP to investigate

4. So far, we have only kicked out the students, the vets and the homeless

5. RCMP: This is a private event. The organizers want you out

6. Organizers: The RCMP identified you, get out or they’ll take you out

7. There is not room for everyone at these events and that they have to manage how many people can attend, explained John Baird

8. These are local issues, no comment

9. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil; stick to the script, smooth sailing to a majority

10. Learned from Charlie Sheen’s disastrous Detroit tour, had to have absolute control of the crowd

11. Don’t trust any ordinary Canadians

12. Do you know who I am?

13. Just normal security procedure for a PM

14. It’s all because of the Coalition

15. Be afraid, be very afraid. Next, there will be a knock on your door and you will be gone

16. “It’s better when you’re turning people away than when you can’t get people to come,” Harper said. Better for whom?

17. Are you on Facebook or Twitter? We are Facebook Creeping, swiping for any IED or potential Coalition danger

18. You haven’t earned the honour to be in this exclusive attendees club?

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