大度读人 (原文)   冯骥才

Reading broadly into a person (original essay) by Feng Jicai
Translated by YK Chan

世界是一个大舞台,每个人都是一本书。读人,比读其他文字写就的书更难。我认认真真地读,读了大半辈子,至今还没有读懂这本“人之书”。
On the worldwide stage every person appears as a book. To read a person is more difficult than to read a written book. I have been seriously reading this “Book of Man” over half of my life, and still haven’t understood it.

有的人,在阳光明媚的日子里愿意把伞借给你,而下雨的时候,他却打着伞悄悄地先走了。——你读他时,千万别埋怨他。因为他自己不愿意被雨淋着 (且是人家的雨伞),也不愿意分担别人的困难,你能说什么呢?还是自己常备一把伞吧。
When there is bright sunshine someone would lend you his umbrella. However, when it rains he would leave stealthily under his umbrella.–When you are reading him, don’t ever complain about him. Since he isn’t willing to get wet and it’s his umbrella after all, how can you question his reluctance to share other people’s problems? It’s better to have your own umbrella.

有的人,在你有权势的时候,围着你团团转,而你离职了,或无权无势了,他却躲得远远的。——
When you are in power or influential someone would hover all over you. However, when you leave your job or do not have clout anymore, he would make himself scarce.–

你读他时,千万要理解他。因为他过去是为了某种需要而赞美你,现在你没有那种功力了,也就没有必要再为你吟唱什么赞美诗了。在此,你就需要静下心来,先想一下自己过去是否太轻信别人呢?
When you are reading him, try your best to understand him. He praised you in the past because he needed something from you. Since you don’t serve that function now, he does not have to glorify you anymore. From now on you have to keep your cool and ponder if you are too trusting of people. 

有的人,在面对你倾诉深情的时候,语言的表述像一条流淌的清亮甜美的大河,而在河床底下,却潜藏着一股污浊的暗流。——
When conversing with you heart-to-heart someone may sweet-talk fluently like honey flowing in a river. Lurking in the river bed, however, is a polluted undercurrent.–

你读他时,千万别憎恨他。因为凡是以虚伪为假面来欺骗别人的人,人前人后活得也挺艰难,弄不好还会被同类的虚伪所惩罚,你应该体谅他的这种人生方式,等待他的人性回归和自省吧。
When you are reading him, don’t ever hate him. It is quite hard to always mislead and misrepresent oneself, wearing a mask of hypocrisy in front and behind people. If not acting perfectly, he could be punished by similar deception of his type. You should empathize with him and await the return of his true self and self-awakening.

有的人,在你辛勤播种的时候,他袖手旁观,不肯洒下一滴汗水,而当你收获的时候,他却毫无愧色地以各种理由来分享你的果实。——
When you are busy sowing, someone would just be looking on instead of offering to sweat it out with you. At harvest, however, he would shamelessly arm himself with excuses to reap and share your fruits.–

你读他时,千万别反感。因为有人肯于你分享丰收的甜蜜,不管他怀着一种什么样的心理,都应该持欢迎的态度。你做出一点牺牲,却成全了一个人的业绩欲,慢慢地,会让他学会一些自尊和自爱。
When you are reading him, don’t feel offended. You should welcome him regardless of his mentality, as someone is willing to share the sweetness of your bumper harvest. For a bit of sacrifice, you fulfill a person’s desire for accomplishment. Eventually, he would learn how to respect and care for himself.

有的人,注重外表的修饰,且穿着显示出一种华贵,而内心深处却充满着空虚,充满了无知和愚昧,那种文化的形态,常常不自觉地流露在他的言语行动中。——
Some people are particularly conscientious of their attire and appearance, wearing expressions of luxury and opulence. Their deep void inside, however, is filled with innocence or ignorance. Such psyche often seeps through their words and deeds.–

你读他时,千万别鄙视他。因为他不懂得服装是裁缝师制作的,仅仅是货币的标志,而人的知识、品德和气质,却是一个人真正的人生价值。对于庸俗的人,你应及时对照一下自己的行为。
When you are reading him, don’t ever despise him. He does not understand that clothing is made by a tailor and just an currency indicator. The true value of a person lies in, however, his knowledge, character and poise. Against the vain and mundane, you should make timely juxtaposition of them against your own action.

读别人,其实也是在读自己,读真、读善、读美的同时,也读道貌岸然背后的伪善,也读美丽背后的丑恶,也读微笑背后的狡诈……
  读人,最重要的是读懂怎样的人。
  读人,是为了要做一个真正的人。
Reading others is really also reading oneself. Read truth, kindness and beauty simultaneously with the hypocrisy behind upright appearance, the ugliness behind beauty, the cunningness behind gentle smiles…
…Of utmost importance in reading a person is learning what really lies in that person.
…To do so is to learn how to be a real person.

因此,读人时,要学会宽容,要学会大度,由此才能读到一些有益于自己的东西,才能读出高尚,才能读出欢乐,才能读出幸福。
Hence, when reading into a person we learn how to become accommodating and open-minded. Only then we can learn how to improve ourselves, to be classy, blissful and fortunate.

每个人的一生都可能会遇到不同的情况,就看你如何去面对了。人与人相处,更多的是需要彼此之间的一份理解,一种信任。凡事多向积极的一面靠拢,你会感觉生活并不像我们想象的那么糟糕。对待别人多一份宽容,也许你会发现这样的人生会多一份惊喜等着你的。我们都应该学会笑对人生,笑对周围的一切,此时,你也会感觉到你的周围多了一缕阳光,一丝温馨。
What each person encounters in life is different. The outcome depends on how you deal with the situation. To co-exist and interact with people we need more mutual understanding and trust. If always striving for the positive, you will sense that life is not as bad as we may conjure. When you treat others with an open mind, you may discover that more happy surprises await you in life.  We shall all learn to smile in life, smile at whatever happens around us.  When you are able to do so, you will enjoy the sun and its warmth around you more.

还是那句话,人生在世短短数十载,何必计较太多宽容地面对他人,学会怎样做人,这看来很简单,但是这本“人之书”不是任何人都能参透的。正视自己的一切,以一颗简单的心来面对人生,善待他人,善待自己,幸福快乐地度过每一天。
It’s still that saying about our ephemeral existence of several decades, during which we should not mind being too generous towards others but learn how to be a real person. This sounds simple, but not anyone can master the true meaning of this “Book of Man”. Let us see straight into ourselves, face life with a pure heart and be kind to others and to ourselves, living each day happily.

About YK 1965

Class of WYK1965 Microbiologist (Environmental Microbiology) Honorary Research Fellow Agriculture Canada, Ottawa
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One Response to 大度读人 (原文)   冯骥才

  1. Winnie says:

    Good job Yiu Kwok!

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