Mayor Ford, Our Apology

(Through Rose-Coloured Glasses)

On behalf of all Torontonians, we apologize.

We are deeply sorry for voting for you, to burden you with such difficult tasks that come with the mayor’s chair. Ever since, we have been wondering, are we really up to the challenge, to watch you closely, and to challenge you every step of your move? Especially when you try to keep us in the dark, at all cost.

We apologize that we misunderstood your warnings this past summer, for taking your words at face value, for thinking that we are really in a financial strait, of a horrendous sum of $774 million. But as a matter of fact, you actually just want to make a point, to create a pre-text of how difficult a time we are in, and to prepare and scare us to accept whatever cuts and privatizations and other surprises you have for us. Thank you for your hard sell, you almost give us a heart attack though.

We apologize for not realizing that you actually run city hall as a business, watching only the bottom line. You come in waving a blade, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. You yelled, cut libraries and their hours, cut arenas, pools, zoos and museums programs, cut daycare and kids’ nutrition programs, lay off city staff ……. the list goes on and on. And in the mean time, you also want to sell, sell, sell; sell off subsidize housing, contract out city services, turn lakefront prime land into Ferris Wheels amusement park and build higher condos. All in the name of turning a profit on the balance sheet; as for Torontonians, let them eat cakes (or food from the garbage dumps, whatever).

We apologize that we question you why with a surplus of $139 millions, you don’t use that to ease our pain, to lower our budget deficit, but to slash it away into some kind of a rainy day fund; but to induce more pain in us Torontonians by increasing taxes, TTC fare and cut more programs and more workers? Please enlighten us.

We apologize for not seeing your far-sightedness. You are already looking ahead to your next election, I presume? You put the surplus money into a slush fund, so that for the next three years, even if you screw up more, and dig yourself deeper into a hole, you can still have money to throw around, to get ready for the next election. What a visionary.

We apologize that we mocked you when you called 911 when a scary looking reporter arrived early one morning at your front steps (You must have thought her from The Star). Look at our defense minister, who called in the army helicopter when he was running a tight schedule, and was late for a function. When you are in government, by hook or by crook, you need all the help you can get. You are the boss, isn’t it!?

We apologize for not noticing, that you are just showing us “Banning Bullies from schools” won’t work. You are re-creating a schoolyard environment in our city hall. With you, bossy twinFords, and your faithful gang, as the notorious bullies, you are showing us that, if we simply avoid the bullying issue by banning them now from schools, then later in life, in our own workplace, when we meet real bullies like you and your gang, we will lack the skill to handle them. That’s why twinFord is promoting of bringing the UFC community to our schools. Fight violence with violence. Cool.

Now we fully understand, you are the bad Santa, telling us, we are bad boys and girls, have been behaving badly, and are now being punished for voting for you, for putting you in an awkward position, in the mayor office. Please forgive us, Santa. Aren’t we suffer enough already!

Is there a recall program?

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